


the amount i earn isn't worth it at this point

by rudehao



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Mall AU, basically your fav 12 dorks working in a mall, canada bros, enjoy this shitposting, jujae, mall, nyukyu, rated teen also for drinking and drugs and stuff, rated teen for cursing and implied sexual content, sunhak, will have serious parts at some point to keep the ships going
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2019-05-06 09:51:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 32,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14639346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudehao/pseuds/rudehao
Summary: "The amount I earn isn't worth it at this point.""Shut up, Sunwoo, at least you don't work at a Forever 21. It's so bright in there, I've lost all sense of colour."~12 stupid college/high school students work at the same mall and everyone is surprised they all still have their respective job. friendships, relationships, anger and romance. these kids have it all.





	1. when sangyeon first lays his eyes on the handsome barista

**Author's Note:**

> sangyeon-third year college student  
> jacob(joonyoung)-second year college student  
> younghoon-second year college student  
> hyunjae(jaehyun)-second year college student  
> juyeon-first year college student  
> kevin(hyungseo)-first year college student  
> q(changmin)-first year college student  
> new(chanhee)-first year college student  
> haknyeon-high school senior  
> hwall(hyunjoon)-high school senior  
> sunwoo-high school senior  
> eric(youngjae)-high school senior  
> ~  
> loosely based off western society but it's still... in korea? dude idk just go with it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sangyeon sees a new employee at the recently added starbucks near his store.  
> his instincts tell him that the barista is the newest member of the crackhead crew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL THE BOYZ WILL BE REFERRED TO AS THERE KOREAN NAMes  
> cool enjoy if you're confused keep checking back until you remember them.

How Sangyeon ended up adopting 10 of the kids who worked at the same shopping mall as him, he had no idea. Youngjae says it happened when Sangyeon stopped him and Jaehyun from getting Changmin fired from the Pet World. But anyone would have stopped two idiot teenagers from letting a snake loose in a public place, right?

Maybe not.

Sangyeon's shifts consisted of occasionally helping customers, but mostly sitting around and watching things go down outside of his Tech Shop. He could see into the store across from his, where Jaehyun was actually doing his job and retrieving a shoe size for a customer. Surprised to see he wasn't sleeping in the stock room, Sangyeon felt oddly proud.

His shift was almost over, and the mall was closing soon. Sangyeon was about to send a text when three of his friends entered the shop.

"You guys all got off early?" He asks.

"Yup." Joonyoung grinned. "I was about to quit my job because this shift was so long, but then I was told to clock out early."

"You lucky son of a bitch, I just left my post with the new trainee and came here." Haknyeon said.

"They're hiring more people at the drug store? Who would want to work there?" Youngjae laughed as Haknyeon rolled his eyes.

"I work there!"

"I know, I still don't understand why."

"Youngjae, I swear to god-"

"What's up everybody?!" A wild Jaehyun enters the shop loudly, interrupting whatever curses Haknyeon was about to put on Youngjae.

"I just saw you  _actually_ doing your job 4 minutes ago, what happened?" Sangyeon asks.

"Closed for the night! Hey, are we meeting in the parking lot? It's Sunday." The eldest of the 5 didn't even realize what day it was.

"Yes, it's tradition, we must!" Youngjae chimed in.

Sundays and Fridays were the only work days where all 11 of them were working at the same time, or in the same evening. It was tradition to meet in their sacred space in the parking lot and recap the week, complain about customers or to just hang out like a stupid group of friends, which was what they were.

"Okay, let's go." Sangyeon checked with his supervisor and left the store. The group had only walked 4 feet when Sangyeon stopped like a deer in headlights.

The newly added Starbucks was around the corner from the Tech Shop, which explained why Sangyeon had never seen  _him_ before. He was leaving, bag slung over his shoulder and frown on his face. Even though he looked pissed off, Sangyeon thought he was beautiful.

"Sangyeon, do you want to talk to him?" Joonyoung asks.

"What?"

"That guy you're staring at. He looks around our age, we should invite him into our gang."

Sangyeon breaks out of his trance. "What gang?' Before he can stop him, Jaehyun yells at the kid from the coffee shop.

"Hey! Pretty boy! Hey-Yes! You with the nice hair and face and stuff! Wanna come hang out with us?" Sangyeon wants to punch his friend for being so upfront with the new guy, but he can't help but feel thankful that he did what Sangyeon was wishing he had the courage to do.

"Umm..." He looked around, unsure of what to do."I don't know you?" It came out more as a question.

"That's okay!" Joonyoung calls back (surprisingly, he's quite the quiet guy), "You will soon enough. But come on man, we're fun, trust me. And Sunwoo always brings cereal for us, so that's always a plus if the party goes downhill."

"What kind of cereal?" Sangyeon can't believe how far this conversation is going, and amazed by the direction it took.

"Depends on his mood." Haknyeon says. They had stepped closer together, so the shouting wasn't necessary. "He was kind of pissed off today, so maybe, Cap'n Crunch?"

"But Sunwoo is always pissed off." Youngjae interjects.

"I don't know who Sunwoo is but I like him already. I'm in. Where're we going?"

The group stares at each other in awe. The new guy waits awkwardly.

"Did I say something wrong?" He asks after a few moments pass.

"No." Sangyeon replies, amazed. "Nobody has ever agreed to hang out with out shitfest of friends this easily."

~

Most of the rest of the group was already in the spot, aside from Changmin and Chanhee, who never showed up on time. Currently, Hyunjoon was being pushed around in a shopping cart by Juyeon, while Sunwoo was already spewing about his "garbage job that he'll never escape".

"Sunwoo, quitting is always an option." Sangyeon laughs, jumping in one of the other shopping carts they had obtained in that corner of the parking lot.

"Don't you think I've considered that!" Sunwoo exclaims.

"But then he wouldn't get to hang out with us!" Haknyeon slaps Sunwoo's shoulder, causing his friend to shut up for a second. Haknyeon has that affect on Sunwoo. Most of the guys have figured out that Sunwoo has a little crush, but he's only admitted it to Hyunjoon, who naturally let it out to everyone  _but_ Haknyeon. How the moron hasn't picked up on it, they don't know.

"Wait- Who's this guy?" Juyeon has stopped pushing around Hyunjoon and is now standing directly beside the new guy, who is taking in the shitshow that is going on before him.

Joonyoung and Hyungseo and sitting in the third shopping cart together, having their own conversation in English, excluding themselves from everyone else. Hyunjoon ius trying to talk to his best friend Sunwoo, but he's too busy watching Haknyeon as the kid rambles off to Jaehyun about how tired he is (why he's tired? Jaehyun missed that part). Youngjae is laughing at something stupid on his phone, and Juyeon is inspecting the new guy.

"Oh, he's a recent hire at our fine establishment." Sangyeon informs the group, then turns in the direction of pretty b-the new guy. "If you've made it this far, you're willing to stay. I'm Sangyeon."

-

A list of names get rattled off, and the newbie tries his best to catch them all. Well, he's already here, might as well try and find some new friends.

"Younghoon." He introduces himself to the group. He can't help but notice the blushing cheeks of the kid alone in the shopping cart, who's name he caught as Sangyeon. "I was told there would be cereal."

"Damn right there's cereal." Younghoon was caught off guard when the pissed off kid from earlier (Sunwoo) threw a box of Fruit Loops at him. "Welcome to the club. We've got cereal and teen drama. Hope you enjoy your stay."

When that loud guy (Jaehyun) first yelled at him in the middle of the mall, he was hesitant to go with them. But now that he saw how much fun they were all having together, and how he could be a part of it all, it felt good. Every since he graduated high school, a lot of his friends had parted ways with him to go abroad for university, or out of town, and Younghoon was left alone to get a shit job to pay for his tuition.

New friends sounded good.

Yeah.

"Younghoon!" Youngjae, who looked like he was the youngest, rested an arm on his shoulder. "Since you're kind of new here, Hyunjoon and I think you should go through the infamous 'initiation'."

"Youngjae, don't lie to the poor guy," Hyungseo called from his seat next Joonyoung in shopping cart 3. "Don't worry, there isn't an initiation. Showing up was daring enough."

"You guys don't seem as wild as you're letting on." Younghoon confesses, finding himself next to Sangyeon in shopping cart 2, trying to fit it with the crew.

"Believe me," Sangyeon sighs, "It's more hectic than you think."

Younghoon went home later than usual that day, with 11 new numbers in his contacts list, millions of notifications from the groupchat he was added to, and a sudden motivation to return to work the next day.


	2. when younghoon meets the rest of the group

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> younghoon meets the infamous chanhee and changmin, and hasn't put the puzzle pieces together yet.  
> the 3 youngest talk at lunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY IT TAKES ME SO LONG TO UPDATE IM NOT CREATIV EENOUGH FOR A FIC LIKE THIS

Younghoon went to work the next day kind of excited, which was new to him. Before he was moved to this location, he worked with stupid hours and consistently annoying customers. And to make it all worse, his coworkers were useless. Now he has friends near him (he can see Sangyeon from the counter) and he actually likes them.

From the previous night, Younghoon talked the most to Sangyeon. The eldest of the squad introduced each person to him and what they were like, which gave him a better idea on how to perceive them. He understood Sunwoo's bitterness better when Sangyeon explained he was a struggling high school student who was barely scraping up enough money for college, and he understood how he shut up when Haknyeon spoke to him (Sangyeon said the second youngest of the group has had a crush for the longest time).

He wandered into the empty mall, wondering who would be around today. He knew not all of them would be, for it was a Monday morning and a lot of the group were students. He was happy to see Sangyeon scanning the shelves and displays in his shop. He waved and Sangyeon returned it with a tired grin. So, he must not have early Monday classes, like Younghoon. He noticed there were two other people in the store with Sangyeon, of whom he didn't know. They were talking to Sangyeon as he began to open. Curious, he walked towards them and into the store.

"Younghoon, good morning!" Sangyeon greeted him warmly. The other two boys looked at him, then at each other, then at Sangyeon, then back at Younghoon.

"Morning." Younghoon replied. He looked at the pair a realized who they could possibly be. "Are you Chanhee and Changmin?" The duo smiled.

"Chanhee! He knows us!" The lanky kid (who Younghoon concluded as Changmin) shook the other boy's arm. Chanhee smiled and stuck out his hand in greeting.

"Sorry we didn't get to meet you last night. We were kind of busy." Sangyeon smirked while the words came out of Chanhee's mouth. "I'm glad someone knew joined the group though. I was getting tired of nothing exciting happening."

"What do you mean?" Sangyeon said, seeming offended, "We get up to plenty of exciting things!"

"Getting me almost fired isn't exciting!" Changmin whines. "Please make Jaehyun and Youngjae stop, Sangyeon!"

"Why are you asking me? Confront them yourself."

"Because you're the scary and intimidating father figure!" Changmin released Chanhee and latched onto Sangyeon. Younghoon snorted. Sangyeon went into the stock room, leaving the trio behind.

"Is he hurt by that?" Younghoon asked warily.

"Nah, it's just too early for him to be dealing with his children. Best leave him alone for a while." Chanhee chuckles. The 3 leave the store and Younghoon takes the short opportunity to ask about his new acquaintances.

"Where do you guys work? I'm right here," He points to the Starbucks a few meters away from them.

"I work at the Pet World on the other side of the divide. Chanhee is over there too, but a little further down. He works at the bookst-"

"Changmin, I love you, but I can speak for myself." The other chuckles as Changmin stops and grins, embarrassed. "As he said," Chanhee continues, "I'm at the book store over there. It's boring and usually empty, so if you need a break come and find me. I'm more than willing to escape from helping old ladies find cookbooks."

"Is that a cry for help?" Younghoon suggests.

"Yes. Please save me." Chanhee holds their eye contact until they both break and start laughing.

"Noted." Younghoon mentally jots down that he should bring coffee if he notices Chanhee in a particularly bad mood. "Well, I should start prepping. See you guys later, maybe?" He starts to walk backwards to his post.

"See you." Chanhee waves.

"Nice to meet you, Younghoon!" Changmin rests his hand on Chanhee's shoulder as he waves goodbye.

Younghoon reminded himself to remember their names, but he knew it wouldn't be hard. The first impression Chanhee made showed that they might have similar humour and thought process, so a friendship could possibly be in the works. And Changmin? Younghoon just thought he was sweet. The two of them seem like really good friends, and he can imagine why they would skip hanging out with their big group of friends to be with each other.

The mall opens, Younghoon starts his shift and can't wait for a break to come quicker.

~

"Dude, it's been almost a year. I'm getting sick of this. Why don't you just ask him out?" Hyunjoon is face down on the table, demanding Sunwoo out himself.

"Wha-NO!"

"Why not? The whole group knows, so that means there's a large chance he does too. He might just be waiting!" Hyunjoon says while uncapping his water bottle.

"But what if he isn't waiting? What if he doesn't know? I don't want to ruin our friendship, okay?" Sunwoo repeats the excuse he's been saying for months as Youngjae approaches the table.

"Ooooo, are we trying to force out Sunwoo's feelings again?" He smirks while sitting down next to the sulking boy who wants new friends.

"I'll kill both of you one day." Sunwoo says under his breath. He hears his phone go off and checks who messaged him.

"Is it anyone special?" Yougjae wiggles his eyebrows. Sunwoo turns away from Youngjae so he can't see his phone.

"It's just Juyeon, calm your tits."

It was Haknyeon.

_hakhak: do you wanna get ice cream after school_

_angstmaster: usual place?_

_hakhak: where else?_

_angstmaster: see you later_

Sunwoo hasn't told and will never tell his friends about his and Haknyeon's little ice cream dates (dates? Sunwoo wishes). They'd blow it way out of proportion, and his little thing he had going on with Haknyeon could be ruined.

"He lied. It's Haknyeon, look at his face. Oh my g- Hyunjoon he's blushing!" Youngjae almost falls out of his seat from squealing so loud. People in the lunch room started to stare at the trio. 

"Can we please stop making the lunch time topic about me and my suffering love life? What about the new guy from the Starbucks, Younghoon? What do you guys think of him?"

"Oh, he's really chill. Do you think he'll get me free coffee?" Hyunjoon asks.

"No." Youngjae replies bluntly, sipping his can of soda.

"Why?"

"Nobody wants to go and visit you during your work hours." He then admits.

"I repeat: why?"

"Nobody wants to be caught dead in a Hot Topic." Sunwoo says it before Youngjae can, causing them to almost fall out of their seats laughin.

Hyunjoon sneers at Youngjae, then grins a little at his best friend before saying, "Fuck you guys."

"I really like him," Youngjae says between laughs, steering the conversation back to it's focus, "But I can tell something is going on between him and Sangyeon." This startled the other two.

"What the hell do you mean? Sangyeon, our Sangyeon, is capable of feelings?"

"Well he was before we came along." Hyunjoon muttered.

"Irrelevant! But yes. You guys weren't there when we first saw the guy. Sangyeon was redder than Sunwoo gets when we talk about Haknyeon! He was stuttering and Jaehyun had to speak for him- It was amazing!"

The 3 of them laugh, imagining Sangyeon in such a desperate state.

"They'd look good together, don't you think?" Sunwoo asks the opinion of the other two.

"Absolutely." Youngjae responds almost immediately.

"Hmm... I don't know Younghoon well enough yet." Hyunjoon says skeptically. "What if he's going to fuck around with Sangyeon's feelings? That seems to happen to him often. I don't want another relationship of his to go wrong."

"This got hella serious hella fast." Youngjae comments, but he seems deep in thought as well.

"So... Are the youngest going to protect the oldest?" Sunwoo suggests. The others nod.

It's officially the  _Protect Sangyeon's Feelings_ operation.


	3. when sunwoo realizes how whipped he truly is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sunwoo meets haknyeon for that ice cream date they planned and younghoon and chanhee find unexpected friendship

When the school bell rings, Sunwoo is sprinting out of the class and off the school grounds. He doesn't bother to say goodbye to Hyunjoon and Youngjae, they'll probably take a while to realize he's disappeared. Sunwoo likes to joke that he's the odd one out in that trio, but he knows that there's something different between those two. Best to leave them alone to figure it out.

The ice cream shop he and Haknyeon frequently visited was a few blocks away, and he knew how long it took Haknyeon to get there from his school. Sunwoo had a habit of being there before his friend. Or, he had a habit of sprinting down the streets so he could be there first to greet him. He didn't like making Haknyeon wait, so he always claimed he got out of class early. Haknyeon seemed to believe him, although the messy hair and beads of sweat running down the sides of his face were unconvincing.

As planned, he arrived at the same time he usually does, 5 minutes before Haknyeon's bus arrives at the stop just down the street. He stops in front of the shop to wait, but he pauses when he looks inside at the table where they usually sit. Haknyeon is already there, cheeky grin on his face as he looks up at Sunwoo. He can barely move as Haknyeon waves him inside, but eventually his legs start to move and there he is, standing before the boy he can't stop thinking about.

"H-How are you here already?" He asks, dropping his school bag and sitting down across from Haknyeon. The other grins and slides Sunwoo's cup of ice cream over.

"My bus came early." He replied, taking a bite of his own.

"But I-"

"Ran all the way from your school here like you do every time? I know, I wanted to surprise you this time." Haknyeon smirks. Sunwoo turns white, and suddenly the nauseous feeling in his stomach makes his ice cream look less appealing. Perhaps his sneaking around wasn't as under the radar as he thought.

"O-Oh." He doesn't know what to say. He's never been this flustered in front of Haknyeon (sure, he does get nervous pretty often but he's never been THIS nervous). So he never realized Haknyeon was a person with basic observation skills.

Sunwoo ate his ice cream to try and cool down his body which was currently overheating.

"So..." Haknyeon grinned cheekily as Sunwoo's ears perked up at the sound of his voice, "How was school?" The humane question seemed out of place in the current atmosphere.

"Oh- It was the same as usual." Class, sleeping through study blocks, Hyunjoon and Youngjae teasing him. Pretty usual. "What about you? Anyone take up your offer on the cat?"

"Unfortunately not. I check each flyer before and after school but nobody has even grabbed the tabs on the bottom that have my number. It's really disheartening. I can't take care of her!"

Right, the cat. A few weeks ago, Haknyeon found a stray cat that wouldn't leave him alone. She was young and he didn't want to leave her out in the streets, but his parents don't want an animal in their house, so he's been hiding it until somebody takes him up on the offer to take her. There are flyers all over the city and he even has social media accounts for it, but nobody has wanted to take in the poor stray. Haknyeon has been getting quite worried over it, since the cat hair has been making his sinuses act up. Also keeping an animal in your bedroom is more difficult than it seems. In the spur of the moment when Haknyeon first explained the predicament, Sunwoo had volunteered to take her.

"My offer still stands." Sunwoo reminds him, but Haknyeon tuts.

"I don't want you to have a lot on your plate. I'll find somebody else. Don't worry."

"I could say the same for you." Sunwoo says, pointing his ice cream spoon at Haknyeon. The other smiles and shakes his head.

"I've got this under control."

"Okay." The pair continue to eat their ice cream in silence. Sunwoo can't help but watch Haknyeon as he looks outside and notices that it's started to rain.

"Oh my god, I have to walk home! There isn't a bus that stops near my neighbourhood." Sunwoo watched as the other boy stood up and tossed their cups in the trash (Sunwoo had finished his without realizing).

"I have an umbrella! I could walk you back to your house... if you don't mind. I'd like to meet the cat as well."

"You don't have to do that, I'll be fine."

"Yeah, sure, if soaking wet means fine. I'm coming, whether you like it or not."

"Thanks." With that, the pair tip the old lady who runs the shop like they usually do and walk out into the rain under Sunwoo's umbrella. Haknyeon began to lead him home, and the rain only started to come down harder. Sunwoo made sure that Haknyeon was completely covered, even if that meant his head getting a little wet. It was fine for a while until Haknyeon noticed that drops would occasionally fall from the ends of Sunwoo's hair.

"You're getting wet! What's going on with you today, Sunwoo? Why do you seem so distracted?" Haknyeon grabbed Sunwoo by the arm so they were standing shoulder to shoulder so neither of them were getting wet.

Sunwoo wanted to scream. Why is he distracted? Is Haknyeon really that blind? Anybody else would have noticed at this point that whenever Haknyeon spoke his breath hitched, or whenever they were close together like they were currently, his ears turned dark red and he had trouble functioning properly.

"I-I'm fine. Don't worry about it." They'd arrived at Haknyeon's house, and Sunwoo began to walk away.

"Wait- Didn't you want to meet the cat?" Haknyeon calls as he walks faster and faster backwards.

"I'll meet her another time. Thanks for the ice cream!" He realized as he was running away that he hadn't paid him back, but it was too late, so he kept going. As soon as he knew he wouldn't be heard, he cursed Haknyeon, he cursed his friends, but he cursed himself the most. Why is it so hard to be around Haknyeon? Why does his heart hate him? Why is it so hard to confess?

He stopped running when his phone vibrated in his pocket.

_maknae on top: what's wrong w you_

_angstmaster: what_

_maknae on top: why is haknyeon worried abt you? he texted me and said you seemed off_

_angstmaster: fuck. i hate him so much_

_maknae on top: ok i think i understand_

_angstmaster: youngjae you have no idea what it feels like_

_maknae on top: dont i? have you forgotten how much i adored juyeon until he told us he was with jaehyun? the fact that they arent even together anymore makes me so angry. if i didnt try so hard to get over him maybe i could have grown the balls to ask him out_

_angstmaster: i forgot how much you liked juyeon_

_maknae on top: that isnt the point. if you dont confess to haknyeon, you could lose him. so please for the love of god, suck it up_

_angstmaster: ok. i'll try_

_maknae on top: good_

_maknae on top: sO YOU DID LIE ABOUT WHERE YOU WERE GOING_

Sunwoo didn't respond after that. Instead, he walked home, thinking of the best way to confess to Haknyeon.

~

Right before he got off his shift, Younghoon decided to make something for Chanhee who he was planning to visit when he finished. Not knowing what, he quickly visited Changmin, who seemed to know a  _lot_ about Chanhee. Walking around the Pet World felt strange, but nothing was as strange as him finding Changmin carrying and stroking a hamster beside it's cage, which had a sign that clearly said  **Do not hold the hamsters**.

"Aren't you not allowed to hold them?" He asks as he approaches the grinning boy.

"Costumers aren't, but employees can. And it's okay, I'm very close with Peanut Butter. What do you need?" He asks, continuing to pet Peanut Butter.

"Why did you assume I needed something?" 

"None of our friends visit for the soul purpose of hanging out with me. They find the environment weird, but I think it's because Juyeon spread a rumour about how he walked in on me once cuddling a tarantula and singing to it."

"Oh.... is it true?"

Changmin didn't answer his question, and only asked, "So what is it that you needed?"

"Oh, right. I'm sorry, but I noticed Chanhee storm out of the bookstore earlier and come this way. Is he okay?"

Changmin sighed. "Yeah, he was just annoyed by his manager. She always tries to give him extra hours because he's the most flexible employee but he gets stressed out easily so he doesn't take them. She has a grudge against him for it and acts like a jerk. When it's particularly bad he leaves and visits me here."

"Oh, that sucks." Younghoon says, having a newfound respect for Chanhee. "I thought you said nobody comes to visit you?"

"Oh, except him, I guess."

"You two seem close."

Changmin smiles widely at Younghoon's comment. "We are."

"Would you know what kind of coffee he would like? I was thinking of surprising him after my shift ends." The other almost jumped when the words came out of Younghoon's mouth.

"Oh, Younghoon that's so nice of you! I'm sure he'll be thankful. He likes anything and everything that will rot your teeth out, so maybe throw in every sweet thing you can find."

He's taken aback by Changmin's response. "What? Chanhee likes sweet things?"

"I know it's strange, but he likes to get high off the sugar." Changmin says it so easily that Younghoon almost doesn't register what he said.

"Oh.. okay. What can I get for you?"

"What? Me? Don't worry about me, I don't drink coffee. Thanks, but please focus on Chanhee." He puts the hamster back in his cage as he says it. For the first time, Younghoon is hearing Changmin speak somewhat seriously.

"You really care about Chanhee, don't you?" He asks, growing extremely curious about how their friendship is so strong.

"I really, really do. Now get back to your job, I know you aren't on a break right now. Shoo!" He's sporting his signature happy face again, so Younghoon waves goodbye. As he's leaving the store, Changmin leans on the hamster's cage and sighs.

"You know what, Peanut Butter? I really like Younghoon."

 

Now that his shift is done, Younghoon is carrying a grande cup full of sugary coffee towards Chanhee's book store. It's not hard to find him, since he can hear his overly enthusiastic employee voice from across the small store. He's at the back talking to a lady who clearly is in the wrong shop.

"But this is a book store, should you be able to help me?" She complains as Chanhee keeps his cool.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but since it's a book on your  _phone_ that you accidentally deleted, I'm suggesting you visit the Tech Shop across the mall. They are far more skilled in technology and might be able to retrieve it. This is out of my level of expertise."

"This is very disappointing. I came here for help, I shouldn't have to walk further to get it."

"Ma'am, did you purchase that book from our establishment? Did you purchase it with a gift card from our establishment? Have you ever  _been inside_ our establishment?"

The woman opens her mouth to reply multiple times before settling on a "No" that came out more as a question.

"Then I am completely unable to help you. Have a good day." Chanhee notices Younghoon and walks towards him quickly.

"Hello sir, welcome to Bookmarkers, how may I help you?" Younghoon chuckles at Chanhee's costumer voice as the two walk away from the ignorant lady.

"You handled that so well. I'm very impressed." Younghoon says as Chanhee runs a hand through his hair and scowls.

"I've dealt with worse. Sorry you had to see me acting all fake. What brings you here? Are you on a break?"

"Nope, my shift just ended for the day. I came to bring you this," He hands Chanhee the drink. The boy is surprised while taking it. "Changmin told me what to get you, so I'm sorry if you hate it." Chanhee takes a sip and he lets out a squirm. "What was that?"

"I'm so thankful for your existence, Younghoon. You made my day. I love you. It's perfect." Before he even realizes it, Chanhee has inhaled half of the cup.

"Holy shit... I didn't take you as one for sweet things." Younghoon laughs as Chanhee leans against a bookcase.

"Oh yeah, Changmin totally got me addicted. He doesn't drink coffee like this but his body is mostly made up of candy and snacks that are sweeter than this."

"You two are super close. How long have you known each other?" This was his chance to get closer to the two, he didn't want to pass it up.

"Hmmm...." Chanhee takes a while to respond and starts doing calculations in the air with his finger. "Seven years. Together for one, though. We only started to get really close after five years since we met through mutual friends, so..."

Younghoon almost chokes on his chewing gum. "W-wait... Together? What do you mean?"

"What? We're together. He's my boyfriend." Chanhee laughs at Younghoon, who's staring at the younger in bewilderment. "Did you seriously not know? Jesus, it's like those guys don't even talk about us. I thought they'd mention it or something."

"Well, I just met them yesterday! Damn, it makes a lot of sense now. The way Changmin talks about you, I should have guessed."

"Yeah, he talks a lot. But it's super cute so I tolerate it."

Younghoon wouldn't have pegged the two to be a couple. Changmin is so upbeat and happy while Chanhee seems more closed off. But they seem very happy together, so who is he to question them?

"How did you two get together?" Now knowing their status, he's curious about the relationship the two have.

"It's kinda weird, I guess. I told Joonyoung- Have you met Joonyoung?"

"Briefly. Continue."

"Okay, well I told him about my stupid little crush because I thought since he was in his first year of uni he would be wise and stuff, and he's been with Hyungseo for so long, I thought he'd have good things to tell me-wait," Chanhee stopped when he noticed Younghoon's expression, which was surprised again, "You also didn't know those two were together, did you?"

"Nope. Good to know, though. Continue again, please." Chanhee chuckles.

"Well, that shithead didn't have any good advice and instead outed me to Hyungseo, who is pretty close with Changmin. That stupid kid couldn't keep his mouth shut and ended up telling him. Changmin confronted me about it and confessed himself. We've been together ever since."

"That... is adorable." Younghoon giggles. Ew, why did he giggle?

"Ha ha, fuck you."

"You don't hate Hyungseo after that?"

"Nah, he really tried to keep it a secret but he noticed how Changmin felt about me so he let it slip. I'm thankful he did, or else we might not be together today."

"I understand why you like tooth-rotting sweet things now. I have a toothache just hearing it."

"Again, fuck you. Anyway, enough about me. You have someone special like that in your life?"

"Now it's my turn to 'ha ha'. I haven't really thought about it." He responds, trying to push the thought of Sangyeon to the back of his mind.

"Really? That's surprising, since you're literally as handsome as a god."

"Watch it, you have a boyfriend."

"That doesn't excuse me from being my observant gay self. Besides, Changmin and I have already discussed how breathtaking you are." Younghoon blushed at his comment. Why did a couple talk about how handsome someone else was? Especially if it's their friend? "But Joonyoung informed me of how you were acting around Sangyeon last night, and I noticed it this morning. Are you feeling a little giddy around him?" Younghoon playfully punched the younger in the shoulder.

"Wow, does everybody think I like Sangyeon? If you guys keep talking about it so openly he's gonna find out and push me away. He's been a good friend so far, I don't want him to hate me."

"Well, he wouldn't hate you if he found out you like him."

"I don't like him." Younghoon corrects. Chanhee scoffs and rolls his eyes.

"Okay, if you say so. But anyway, Sangyeon is super chill. Even if he does hate you for it, you have 11 other guys to bounce back to for good friends. Surprising as it sounds, all of these dudes are great. Youngjae and Hyunjoon may seem immature, Sunwoo may seem cold, and Jaehyun may seem like a snake, but trust me, they're all fantastic. I would die for most of them."

"Most of them?"

"Haknyeon still owes me 3 dollars."

"Okay, makes sense. Do you need 3 dollars? I have it.."

"Don't worry." Chanhee laughs, "I just say that to piss him off. He really should pay me back, though..." 

A sharp voice cuts through their laughter. "CHANHEE! Get back to work or I'm putting you on overtime. I don't care if you can't take it, you'll be getting it!"

Chanhee groans.

"Wow, Changmin wasn't exaggerating about your manager." Younghoon says pitifully. Chanhee shrugs and pulls a fake smile. He can see the sadness in his eyes.

"I'd better get back to it. Thanks for the drink, you're the best." Chanhee turns and walks towards his manager, pulling his fake voice again and asking for a task.

Younghoon felt bad for the poor guy. His manager was much nicer and let him leave if he needed, such as for the bathroom (which was the excuse he used for when he was visiting Changmin). Chanhee didn't deserve to be treated as such, so Younghoon was glad he had Changmin.

As for Changmin, he knew he was going to visit more, without a purpose other than to hang out. He deserves that much.

While leaving the mall, Younghoon can't help but think about Sangyeon. If he's as chill as Chanhee claims, maybe confessing wouldn't be so bad.

But why would he need to confess?

Younghoon doesn't like Sangyeon like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow this really isn't a crack fic lmao im sorry i tried but hey it's somewhat stupid so we're getting there  
> there will probably be more hints to past shenanigans than new shenanigans, but the angst and fluff will be real so??????


	4. when joonyoung and hyungseo find trouble in paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sangyeon and joonyoung talk about spoken and unspoken feelings, among other things.  
> juyeon and jaehyun don't know where to go with how their feelings.

Joonyoung didn't intend to bring it up to Sangyeon when they met up at Younghoon's Starbucks, who wasn't in today.

The topic sort of came up after Sangyeon was done recapping his week to his friend.

"I'm sure there's openings at other shops for you if where you're at isn't for you." Joonyoung says in between Sangyeon's complaining about his job.

"I know, but wouldn't it be awkward if I was in the same mall at a different store?"

"Still better than sucking at your job." Joonyoung says before taking a sip of his coffee. Sangyeon glares at him.

"Hey, you're supposed to be the nice friend!"

"Whatever. If the Tech Shop isn't your thing, don't stay." Joonyoung offers his first piece of real advice since the begin of their conversation.

"I'm done talking. My throat is tired, you go." Sangyeon says, out of breath (for no reason) while motioning Joonyoung to speak.

"What do you want me to talk about?"

"I don't know, your job, school, Hyungseo, whatever. Just begin." Sangyeon started to take a long sip while waiting for his friend to speak.

"My job is the same. I try to help customers but think I don't know anything because I'm a guy. School is also the same. I have no idea what's going on but I'm sticking to it." He says it but backs up. "Actually, school isn't that bad. I'm catching up and understanding more since the semester started and did well on my midterms."

"I'm proud of you." Sangyeon stops his sip to make Joonyoung smile. "And Hyungseo? I haven't talked to him much lately. He seems busy."

Joonyoung freezes for a moment before speaking again. "He's good." He knows the tension is there but tries to ignore it. Unfortunately, Sangyeon is a master at seeing through him.

"Uh oh. What's going on?" He asks, leaning forward and lowering his voice. "Did something happen?"

Joonyoung doesn't want to say anything but he fears he has to. He never hides anything from Sangyeon, and he wants to resolve it so it doesn't effect their friends.

"We... we're kind of fighting right now."

"Kind of? What do you mean?"

"Well... he won't talk to me no matter how much I try. He's been sleeping on the couch even though there's a spare bedroom in the apartment, like he wants me to notice how angry he is." Joonyoung keeps his voice in a mumble, like he doesn't want to admit it's happening at all. "It really hurts, actually." He feels Sangyeon's sympathetic gaze but refuses to make eye contact.

"What happened?" He asks softly, not pressuring him into saying anything. Asking and waiting patiently. Joonyoung is extremely thankful for that.

"His family is visiting for Christmas soon. I'm actually quite excited, believe it or not, but Hyungseo is insisting they stay in our apartment." Joonyoung admits, swirling his straw around in his coffee.

"But you're apartment is tiny. Even if there's the spare bedroom, you can't fit everyone in the lounge. Or the kitchen."

"I know, that's my point. He won't listen or try to understand, so he's taking it that I don't want his family around. No matter how many times I try to talk to him he just ignores me and leaves."

"When did this happen? You guys seemed fine a few days ago."

"We were. This happened two days ago and it gradually got worse."

"Joonyoung, I'm sorry. Do you want me to talk to him? I can try."

"No! I mean-" He sighs and places his cup on the table between them. "It should be me. It's not my fault but if he refuses to speak to me, I have to make the first move and confront him, right?"

"That makes sense." Sangyeon agrees, leading the conversation into an awkward silence. Joonyoung took this time to start and properly think about how he should approach the situation.

He wasn't surprised when he saw Sangyeon's reaction to their quarrel. It was known throughout all of their friends. Joonyoung and Hyungseo never fought. It was unheard of, a myth that everyone believed. They were the perfect relationship where everything was sunshine and rainbows.

It really sucked that it wasn't a reality. Sure, they didn't argue often. Once in a blue moon or something like that. But it definitely happened, but the source wasn't big like this one. It would be a stupid debate about how the way they speak, such as them fighting over English pronunciations that they would run to Youngjae for help with. It always ended up with him getting added to the mix.

Growing up in different regions made things like this difficult.

But that's besides the point.

They don't fight. And that's why it's so hard for them to work it out.

"How did you handle any of the fights you had in your past relationships?" He asks Sangyeon, who's surprisingly dated quite a few people. 

"I'd try to talk with them and it would blow out of control. Then they'd break up with me."

"Oh." Joonyoung had forgotten how well all of his friend's relationships went. It got so worrying to Joonyoung that whenever Sangyeon spoke about a possible new partner he would get nervous, hoping he didn't get hurt again. That's why when all of his friends noticed how he acted around Younghoon, he began to be skeptical. At first he thought it was fun to humiliate their oldest friend, but when he went home that night and thought about it, he had concerns.

"Joonyoung?"

"Sorry what?"

"I said you should just corner him in your apartment and force him to talk to you. It might seem aggressive but if he doesn't cooperate soon, I'll have to step in and we all know that would be a bad idea." Sangyeon makes him laugh for the first time in a few days, which feels relieving.

"Yeah, you aren't the best at confrontation."

"Another reason why I can't quit my job!"

"You don't have to confront anyone. Just send them an email a few weeks in advance and be on your merry way." Sangyeon gives Joonyoung a glare. It makes the younger giggle and hide behind his hands. Maybe everything isn't as easy to Sangyeon as it seems to Joonyoung.

"So..." Joonyoung tries to keep the conversation going, "Anywhere specific you'd like to work after you eventually quit?"

"Hmm. I haven't really thought about it before, but Younghoon and I were talking about his job as a barista. It doesn't sound so bad, and it'd be cool if I could work here with Younghoon. I doubt there's a chance, but still..." 

Joonyoung picked up on the way he spoke right away. Dazed and happy as his friend remembered his encounter with Younghoon.

"I guess you like Younghoon quite a bit." He says, expecting Sangyeon to choke on his drink and turn dark red.

But that doesn't happen. Instead he pauses before placing his cup back down on the table. The look he gave Joonyoung wasn't embarrassed. It was more like he was lost.

"I don't know how I feel about him. You guys have been joking about it a lot, but if I'm being honest? Feelings have been really weird since my last break up." Sangyeon confessed sincerely, throwing Joonyoung for a loop. Sangyeon was usually so open and confident about what he felt.

"You seemed pretty awestruck when we first met him."

"I was not."

"I had to speak for you!" Joonyoung accuses him pointing a finger, "Me!"

Sangyeon breaks his serious facade and laughs, recalling the awkward first encounter of the two. It was a bit easier when they were sudden feelings, but now that they've had time to develop, they've sat and never left Sangyeon's mind. But it doesn't feel normal. It's different than it's ever been before, like they aren't supposed to be there.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

"So, you don't know?" Joonyoung asks after Sangyeon was thinking for too long.

"No."

"Okay."

"I don't know what to do." He confesses, hoping Joonyoung has some magical wise advice for him. It's always Sangyeon helping out his younger friends, but Joonyoung sometimes comes in handy. He talked him into not dropping out of college when he was seriously considering it because studying was taking a lot out of him. He's very thankful for that.

"Well..." Joonyoung swirls the coffee in his cup around as he contemplates what to say. "Are you willing to go into another relationship right now?"

Sangyeon thinks about it for awhile. This has been the longest he's been single in a long, long time. It wasn't that he was a player or anything, his relationships just never seemed to work out. He'd be cheated on, they'd become uninterested, or he found they just weren't a good person for him.

He wasn't sure if Younghoon was like any of them. He hadn't known him for long at all, but here he was, heart hammering as he thought about being in a relationship with him.

"No..." He says after a while, "I don't think I'm ready yet. Being single for this long has given me free time I'd forgotten about. Sure, I like him. But I don't think I'm ready to commit to anything yet." Joonyoung nods, taking a sip of his coffee. He took pride in his problem solving, yet he still couldn't figure out what to do with Hyungseo. This is why he and Sangyeon are such good friends.

"That's perfectly fine. You need to take your time."

Sangyeon grins at his friend across the table.

"Thanks, Joonyoung."

"Thank you, as well. I finally know what to do."

-

Juyeon didn't expect to see that familiar face while he was wiping counters. 

The theatre was supposed to be closed, how did he even get inside?

"Hey," He said to Jaehyun as the older placed his hands on the counter right after it had been cleaned. He was tired and not in the mood to deal with this right now.

Jaehyun and he had not left off on a good note. They never really do, honestly. It's a cycle that they've been stuck in since they started this whole mess. Have fun, ruin it, be mad, make up and have fun again.

You might be thinking, if you're having fun, how does it get ruined?

Jaehyun happens. That's how. Juyeon has tried his best to make it work out, but Jaehyun doesn't seem to let it happen. Truthfully speaking, Juyeon doesn't know why he continues to mess around with his older friend. It's only hurting him. But he can't seem to let him go. Something deep down inside of him thinks one day it will work.

One day.

"Hey." Jaehyun replies, his trademark grin catching Juyeon's eyes like it always does. It's charm enhances him, and doesn't release.

"What are you doing here? We're closed." Juyeon said, annoyed that someone was still here after hours. It was way too late to be dealing with this. Especially too late to be dealing with Jaehyun. 

"I know. I'm here to pick you up." Jaehyun swings himself over the counter and sits on top of it, making Juyeon more frustrated than before.

Juyeon sighs irritably, trying his best not to look at the kid sitting before him. "Go home, Jaehyun." He decides to leave where Jaehyun is making the counter dirty again and finishes closing up the concession.

"Not without you." Jaehyun flashes the grin again, trying to entrance Juyeon.

"I'm not in the mood,"

He grabs Juyeon's wrist while he was trying to exit the concession. "Please? You know you want to."

Juyeon rips his arm away and scowls at him. He hates how Jaehyun makes him feel. He hates being praised and loved and rejected and pushed away all at the same time. If Jaehyun can't make up his mind, Juyeon will. "No." He says bluntly, "I won't go with you. I won't go with you anymore. I don't deserve to be treated like this, Jaehyun. Like... like some sort of item you can take and toss away whenever! I'm sick of it and I'm sick of you." It feels good to let it out, but he knows it won't work.

Jaehyun's look becomes blank, like the gears are turning in his head, forming what to say. 

Juyeon doesn't have the patience for this, so he turns and starts to walk away.

"You know how I feel about you, Juyeon." Jaehyun calls, making the younger pause, despite his best efforts. But he's far too curious to keep going. Jaehyun is his weakness, and he hates how it's abused. "You know how hard this is for both of us."

"No. You only know how "hard" it is for you. You know nothing about how I feel." He spits the words through his teeth. "You don't understand how used I feel. I'm a human, Jaehyun. I don't belong to you."

"I do know," Jaehyun says softly, coming up behind Juyeon and touching his shoulder. Juyeon wants to shove him away. He wants to so badly. "And I'm so sorry. I've been trying to figure out what to do. It'll be over soon. I just need you to wait."

"What if I'm done waiting?"

"I would feel really shitty if you were." 

Juyeon finally turned and looked at his friend who he had these stupid feelings for.

Jaehyun smiles sadly and squeezes the younger's shoulder. "I love you and you know that. We just have to be patient."

"I know." Juyeon whispers, nodding while looking at the patterned cinema floor. Jaehyun places a small peck on Juyeon's cheek, making Juyeon's heart sink.

He missed it, like he always does. But he can't help but wonder when it will all end again?

The pair walk back to Juyeon's house, and the silence is barely bearable. Jaehyun has taken Juyeon's hand, and the younger wants this to last as long as it can. It's cold and neither of them are dressed for it. He wants to wrap himself around Jaehyun and breathe in his scent and take in his warmth, but his body refuses. The hands are enough for now.

Juyeon's parents aren't home, but it never really mattered. They didn't care who Juyeon took home, whether a girl or a boy, and only ever wondered if they needed something to eat. Juyeon could tell that's one of the reasons why Jaehyun loved coming over. Was Juyeon a part of it as well? Yes, but having parents who respect you if something he's wanted for awhile.

"Are you hungry?" Juyeon asks, setting his backpack down on the kitchen counter.

"Nope." He responds, taking a seat on the dining table. Why he can't sit in chairs? Juyeon will never understand. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't care, you're the one who wanted to come over." Despite them making up a little bit, Juyeon is still bitter. Jaehyun ignores his snarky comment and asks something else.

"How's the dance troupe?"

"I'm surprised you still remember."

"Come on, Juyeon. It's only been a few weeks since we last talked. How's that routine coming along?"

Juyeon hates how he's acting. He hates everything about this. "It's fine. Changmin is fixing it up and we're performing it at a showcase soon."

Jaehyun nods and kicks his feet forwards and backwards through the air. "I wish I could still be there." He eventually says, making Juyeon's heart sink even more.

After their first huge fight, Jaehyun accused Juyeon of some stuff regarding the troupe, and Changmin had to kick him out for being so mean. Jaehyun has since then apologized for it, and all is well and good between the team and Jaehyun. Changmin even offered him his spot back but he didn't take it. Jaehyun's parents had been thrilled when they found out he was no longer with the group. Maybe their son would do something good with his life.

"Me too." Juyeon forces the words out of his mouth, but he does mean it after a few moments. He misses him.

He can't stop missing him.

"How's the team doing?"

"You see them at work, Jaehyun. It's not like you haven't seen them in years."

"No," He chuckles, "I mean how's the work ethic, stuff like that."

"Oh." Juyeon kind of feels dumb after that, so he starts talking to cover it up. "Haknyeon is improving a lot. I mean, he was really talented before but he's starting to shine during his solo moments. Hyunjoon working with him really has been paying off." 

"That's really good." They fall into another awkward silence. Juyeon is trying to build up the courage to really talk to Jaehyun about what's been going on.

He's thankful Jaehyun brings it up first.

"Juyeon, I know this is way too late, but I'm really sorry." He starts, and Juyeon can hear how sincere he is. It's the apology he's been waiting for, but for some reason it doesn't feel right. "You made me realize it tonight. I've been so horrible to you, no matter how difficult it's been for me to do this with you. It's not about me. You deserve someone good, and we both know it isn't me."

"Jaehyun..." He looks up at the guy in front of him, spilling his thoughts. Jaehyun stands up and walks towards Juyeon, who doesn't turn and leave.

"I really do love you." The words are like knives into Juyeon's heart. "And I'm only going to ask it one more time. If you say no, I'll never come back to you looking for the same thing."

Juyeon lets Jaehyun come even closer, to the point where he can feel the other's breath on his lips. He lets Jaehyun kiss him for the first time in a few weeks. He lets his breath get taken away for a few seconds before finally stepping back, looking at Jaehyun properly.

"Juyeon," He whispers, "Please wait for me."

Juyeon takes a minute before shaking his head.

"I can't. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry." He doesn't know what lead him to the decision. Maybe it was the confession, maybe it was the kiss, maybe it was his heart finally telling him to smarten the fuck up.

Jaehyun nods. It's sad. Juyeon suddenly wants to throw up. He made the wrong choice. He made the wrong choice. He wants to change. He wants Jaehyun.

But he's already gone, and he left his hoodie on the couch where they last slept together before it went downhill once again.


	5. when hyunjoon and youngjae go to a park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> youngjae and hyunjoon go and play at a park at 3am and become closer, and joonyoung and hyungseo try and work it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry that it's been so serious lately and not crackhead-y (?) but i guess i like to write angst? welp sorry

Hyunjoon was hiding under the covers of his bed watching the dance team's rehearsal videos when Youngjae sent him a picture. He opened the chat to see it was a picture of a swing set that was wet from rain. It was dark, because it was 2:30 in the morning, but street lights gave it an eerie look.

_hyunjackass: what the hell are you doing_

_maknae on top: i was bored. come join me :D_

_hyunjackass: im not going to a park right now_

_maknae on top: why not????? please???? im lonelyyyyyy_

_hyunjackass: yeah and im tired_

_maknae on top: then why are you still awake???_

_hyunjackass: please reduce your use of questions marks_

_maknae on top: i will not. answer the damn question_

_hyunjackass: no_

_maknae on top: are you watching rehearsals again_

_hyunjackass: ...._

_maknae on top: jesus christ_

_hyunjackass: i cant help it_

_maknae on top: ive seen you guys dance. you couldnt be any better. stop worrying about the showcase ok_

_hyunjackass: you dont understand_

_maknae on top: then explain it to me_

_hyunjackass: typing is tiring_

_maknae on top: then come to the fucking park and talk to me_

_hyunjackass: fine_

_maknae on top: yay! dont forget a jacket it's cold!!!!!_

_hyunjackass: whatever_

Grabbing a thick hoodie, Hyunjoon quietly left his home and began to stalk to the park. He was turning the corner away from his house when he realized that it was still cold despite his hoodie. But he didn't go back home. He continued to walk and tried to take his mind of his freezing fingers by thinking more about the showcase.

What was he supposed to tell Youngjae? The pair weren't as close as they were separately to Sunwoo. Hyunjoon had known Sunwoo for a long time, and they'd become the best of friends. Youngjae was originally closer to Juyeon, but since their older friend graduated he's been left with the other two. Even still, despite their common interest in pissing the shit out of Sunwoo, Youngjae drifted towards the other. Sometimes Hyunjoon wishes they could go back to last year when Juyeon was still around. But he would hate it as well. It wasn't an easy time for Youngjae, who was preparing to confess his feelings to Juyeon when he began to see Jaehyun. The feelings went away quickly, because Youngjae isn't one to intervene on something like that. Hyunjoon knows that Youngjae wishes he still felt that way about their older friend, because he knows he could treat Juyeon better than Jaehyun has.

But feelings don't just come back like that. Or, at least not for Youngjae. Maybe the distance that got shoved between them is making it easier.

Hyunjoon doesn't know why, but ever since Youngjae said he was over Juyeon, Hyunjoon has felt strange. Not like... strange in general. Only when he was around Youngjae. Whenever his friend spoke to him, he felt strange.

He was starting to hate how it felt. The pit in his stomach was only growing, and now having the cold as an excuse, he was actually considering turning around. It would be so much easier to just go and deal with his nerves alone. How would Youngjae help anyway? It's not like he as to deal with stuff like this.

But it was too late. He could see a figure sitting on the wet swing across the street, swinging slowly. He'd turn his head at the slightest sound, looking for something but not finding it.

Hyunjoon took a breath in, let it out and crossed the deserted road. Youngjae heard him coming and smiled wide, looking far too energetic for 3 am. 

"Wow, you actually came!"

Hyunjoon scoffed, sitting down on the swing beside him. The water got his ass wet, but he was expecting it. "Well you were pretty damn persistent." Youngjae chuckled and swung a bit higher. Hyunjoon didn't have the energy to swing, so he just sat and watched his friend go back and forth. The air blew his hair all over the place, and Hyunjoon wanted to laugh at how silly he looked.

"Hyunjoon!" He'd call as he would swing past. "Swing with me!"

"No thanks." He said with a plastic grin.

"Why?"

"Tired."

"Yeah, right. Tired my ass. You're just cold, because somebody didn't bring a jacket like I told him to." He said this while he slowed down and leaped off of his swing. Before Hyunjoon knew what was happeneing, Youngjae was pushing him back and forth on his own swing, making him go higher and higher.

"Woah- Woah woah! Stop!" Youngjae was laughing his ass off as Hyunjoon screeched every time his friend let go of the back of the swing. Hyunjoon was holding on to the chains for dear life.

What? Swing sets scared him. And Youngjae wasn't pushing him like his father did when he was young. He was shoving him back and forth with such force Hyunjoon really was fearing for his life.

"There!" Youngjae said, giving a final push and sending Hyunjoon into the sky, higher than ever before. "Now jump!"

"Are you fucking insane? I'm not jumping off this fucking death trap!" Hyunjoon screamed, not caring if he was waking up the people in the nearby houses.

"Please?"

"NO!"

"Pleeeaasee?" Hyunjoon's heart almost stopped as he considered it. The thought was immediately replaced with 'save me from this hell'.

"Younjae," He said calmy, "If I jump off the swing and injure myself I will kill you. I'm not jumping. Help me slow down."

His friend obliged, grabbing the swing by the chain when it came back down and slowed him down.

"Sorry," He said, but the giddy smile was still ever present. Hyunjoon got off the swing and let out a shaky laugh.

"No, I was exaggerating. I've just been cautious of danger lately." 

"Why's that?"

"The showcase." Hyunjoon hated himself for it already coming up in conversation. "I don't want to risk anything." Youngjae nods and places a hand firmly on Hyunjoon's shoulder. It sends a shock through his body.

"You really need to calm down about this show." His friend says, guiding them over to a jungle gym. Hyunjoon wants to ignore everything he knows Youngjae is going to say, but he can't avoid the kid that's practically dragging him to a playground.

"I can't. You wouldn't understand." He grumbles, standing still as Youngjae starts to climb up on the jungle gym.

Youngjae sighs, adjusting the beanie on his head. "I know that. But still, even Changmin isn't this stressed. You shouldn't be."

"Changmin is never stressed about anything." Hyunjoon counters, taking a seat on the wood chips under their feet.

"That's what you think!" His friend replies triumphantly. "A few days ago I walked in on him venting to the snake he likes in his store. He's worried, but not as much as you are."

"Why do you go and visit Changmin but not me?" Hyunjoon tries to steer the conversation away from his insecurities by distracting the other boy. It works.

"He has lizards and fish! You have goth and rock band clothes."

"What's wrong with rock?"

"Nothing, but I wouldn't wear a shirt with a band that screams bloody murder on it."

"Fair enough."

Youngjae sighs again and sits on the edge of the playground, meters above Hyunjoon with his legs dangling in the air. "Stop distracting me, Hyunjoon. I'm worried about you."

Hyunjoon scoffed and turned his head away so Youngjae couldn't see his cheeks turn dark in the streetlight. "Why?

"Why?" His friend repeats, a laugh catching on to the end of the word. "You're my friend. Is it because I'm not Sunwoo?" Hyunjoon froze and hated himself as soon as Youngjae said those words. "I'm sorry I can't be him, but I've been trying to treat you well. You were always closer with everyone but me... And you were the only person I really wanted to know well."

Hyunjoon can't breathe. "I- I'm sorry. I'm sorry I pushed you away." The words were choked out but he meant them.

He did.

"Wow, this got really heavy." Youngjae takes a breath in and blows it out loudly. "Let's do something fun."

Hyunjoon laughs. "Like what? It's 3 in the fucking morning."

Youngjae jumps off the jungle gym and bounces on to the ground. "Hmmm." He scans the area and winds up pointing to the grass playing field inside the track that's beside the playground. "There. Let's race across the grass."

"Youngjae, what the fuck? No!"

"Too bad. We're going." Youngjae grabbed Hyunjoon's wrists and dragged him off the ground. "You're just scared you'll lose."

Damn Youngjae. Trying to get him to do it out of spite. He does know him better than Hyunjoon gives him credit for.

They made it to the edge of the field and got ready to start. Youngjae laughed as Hyunjoon readied himself.

"Okay," Youngjae said, grinning like an idiot. "1, 2, 3!"

They were off and Hyunjoon pushed himself hard off the grass. He realized that he had forgotten to stretch out his legs, and new he was going to regret it when he woke up the next morning. For a moment, he thought about how the tight muscles were going to effect the showcase, but as he ran it disappeared from his thoughts. This felt freeing.

He smiled.

Then slipped and fell forward, landing on his stomach and chest. The wind was knocked out of his lungs, but he wanted to laugh. So the coughing that was the result scared Youngjae, who had noticed as soon as his friend fell.

"Shit- Hyunjoon! What the hell-Why are you laughing?" Nervous laughter came from Youngjae but Hyunjoon couldn't stop. Some air had returned to him, and he was using every bit of it to laugh in Youngjae's face.

"I- I don't know, dude." He felt himself be shifted onto his back. Opening his eyes, he saw Youngjae inches away from his face, and he felt his cheeks turn pink. The laughing stopped, and he took in the close up of his friend.

His friend that he couldn't get off of his mind.

"Hyunjoon-"

"I like you." He says before he realizes what the words mean. "I mean- I guess that's why I pushed you away." 

At first, Youngjae doesn't react and stares down at his friend, whose grin is shy and sincere. His heart is pounding so loud he swears Hyunjoon can hear it.

He leans down and presses his lips to the corner of Hyunjoon's mouth. When he pulls back, Hyunjoon's eyes are wide and full of disbelief.

"I'm glad you came tonight." Youngjae mumbles.

"Me too." Hyunjoon grabs the neck of the boy above him an pulls him down so their lips crash together.

Hyunjoon's first kiss is in a park at 3 am with a boy he thought he hated but realized he liked a little more than normal friends do.

Youngjae's first kiss is in a park at 3 am with a boy he thought he would never break.

-

He knew Hyungseo had the closing shift, but it still felt like way too long. Why wasn't he home? The mall closes at 10, so why is it 11 and Joonyoung is the only person in the apartment? The bus takes a half hour to get back to their complex.

Joonyoung unlocks his phone and checks for any messages his boyfriend could have left him, but there was nothing. He knows it should be expected at this point. Hyungseo has chosen to barely speak to him unless necessary.

It's eating Joonyoung alive.

He's tired and wants to sleep, but Sangyeon helped him figure out what he needed to do, and he can't wait anymore. He's just hoping Hyungseo actually comes home. Sometimes he's been crashing with Chanhee and Changmin, and those nights somehow feel more lonely than when he's on the couch. It hasn't felt like much of a home lately, despite the effort they've put into making it comfortable. Joonyoung can't help but continuously looking over to the cheesy little Polaroid wall they've started above the couch. It was Hyungseo's idea, and at first Joonyoung was against it because it seemed liked something a teenage girl would do, but after they started it was hard to stop. But it did, because of their argument. No new pictures have gone up. The most recent one was a candid of Joonyoung intensely playing a game on his phone. His eyebrows were together and his tongue was poking out of his mouth a bit. It was cute, even if he hated to admit it. 

He checked his messages again.

The front door was then unlocked and opened. Hyungseo came through the other side, taking off his shoes quietly. He didn't look up until Joonyoung spoke.

"Kev," He started the conversation in English, hoping it would make him more comfortable. They usually talk in English so they don't lose it while primarily speaking Korean, so this wasn't unusual. But during the few conversations they've had over the past few days, it was in Korean. Like Hyungseo had temporarily terminated their connection.

He jumped back at Joonyoung's voice, previously unaware of his presence.

"Oh- Hey." He softens a bit but still seems stiff, and off-put. "Aren't you tired? Why aren't you asleep?"

"It's not too late." He says, sitting back down on the couch. "I was waiting for you." Hyungseo looks his way, but not in the eyes. He hasn't for a few days.

"Oh. Younghoon took the bus with me and we talked for awhile. He lives sorta close by."

"Really?" Younghoon?" He didn't know they had talked before. "That's cool." Hyungseo nods and starts to walk towards the bathroom, but Joonyoung grabs his forearm.

"Hey- Dude I gotta pee!" He tries to break free.

"Can't it wait? We need to talk..."

"Talk about what? What has taken so long that you needed almost a week to say?" He bursts, releasing himself from Joonyoung and finally looking him in the eye.

"Kev, calm down for a second, please." Joonyoung places a hand on his chest. He doesn't want to shout anymore. "I know. But I am not the one at fault here." He says it softly as to not anger him. And he doesn't react. He takes a breath and waits for Joonyoung to continue. "You misunderstood me, and I misunderstood you. It's not that I don't want your family here, I really do. They've become my family too. But our house is too small, and you know that too."

Hyungseo closes his eyes and nods. "I'm a fucking idiot."

"No, you aren't,"

"Yes I am! Are you hearing yourself? How did I think that.... why would I think you didn't want my family around? Am I that dense?" He takes Joonyoung's hand off of his chest and holds it out before them. "I am so sorry."

Joonyoung smiles and squeezes his boyfriend's hand. "It's fine."

"Is it? I treated you so badly. I wouldn't be surprised if you wanted to leave." Hyungseo shakes his head and runs his thumb over Joonyoung's knuckles. Like he always does.

"Leave?" Joonyoung laughs a little bit, "Why would I leave our home?"

"Not just the apartment... me."

"Moon Hyungseo shut the fuck up right now." He snaps, pulling their hands towards him so they are standing closer. "I would never leave you. Even if we fight worse than this, I would never! I love you too much for that to happen..."

The pair stand in silence as Hyungseo collects himself, wiping tears away that had started to pool and fall.

"It's okay, Kev." Joonyoung mumbles, pulling his boyfriend into his arms and hugging the hell out of him. He's been wanting to touch him again, and being close feels so right. 

"I really missed you. I'm sorry for being such a dick. I'm sorry for not sleeping with you... and ignoring your texts and calls and for not talking in general... and for telling Changmin that I hate the way you smell like candles and soap because of your job even though I love how you get free shit that smells nice and I love the way you smell and I love you." The rambling ends abruptly as Joonyoung kisses his temple and tells him to shut up.

And that he loves him too of course.

The pair stand together in a comfortable silence.

"What can I do to make it up to you? I made you feel like shit for so long..." Hyungseo says, swaying back and forth and bringing Joonyoung with him. Almost like a clumsy dance.

"You don't have to. It's fine. Let's just let it blow over, okay?" 

"You can't just let this happen and move on so easily. It's not fair to you." He protests, pulling his head away so he can look Joonyoung in the eye.

"Really, it's okay." He sounded persistent, but Hyungseo knew he wasn't speaking truthfully. He was hurt, and it was evident. Who wouldn't feel awful after their partner treated them like they had killed a person?

"You do this all the time," He says, continuing the conversation even though he had to pee really badly now. "You say it's okay when it's not. After all this... I realized we aren't the best at communication. I forget to ask you to buy things when I'm busy and get annoyed when you don't, like you're supposed to read my mind or something. Or like that time I forgot to tell you I was allergic to cats and you brought us to a cat cafe. It has happened a lot... don't you think we should work on it?"

"It sounds like you have more of a problem with communication than I do..." Joonyoung smirks, while Hyungseo rolls his eyes in defeat.

"Fine." Hyungseo says, finally deciding he should use the bathroom or he would be cleaning the floor later. "You work on not accepting every bad thing that happens to you, and I'll work on communication, okay?"

"Okay. Now go pee, you look like you're about to burst."

"I am. I love you,"

"Bad time, but I love you too."

As Hyungseo proceeded to take the longest time in the bathroom, Joonyoung sat on the sofa and, since Hyungseo thought it was appropriate, contemplated how he would get back at him.

In a fun manor, of course.


	6. when sunwoo finally does it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sunwoo gains confidence out of nowhere and the dynamic four try to hang out like they used to

Sunwoo began to regret not planning out what he was going to say to Haknyeon when he showed up.

What was he thinking? He was waiting outside of the studio where Haknyeon and their other friends practiced, in the pouring rain no less, without an umbrella.

Yep, this was going to go terribly. Leave it to Sunwoo to plan the worst confession in history. But he couldn't back out now. He was in too deep now.

And why do they always meet when it's raining? What's up with that? Is it the gods above telling Sunwoo to fuck right off? Probably. But he has way too much confidence now and the adrenaline is making his heart beat faster than humanly possible.

This is happening.

"Sunwoo?" He's pulled from his mess of thoughts when Juyeon and Changmin walk out of the studio. Juyeon clapped his friend on the shoulder since they don't always get to see each other since the older graduated. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh," Did he plan on encountering the others? Nope. This is the worst plan he's ever tried going through with. "I'm looking for Hyunjoon. You know... best friend... stuff...?" Jesus Christ, Sunwoo, you are the worst actor in the universe.

"Oh. He's inside with Haknyeon..." Changmin smirks at him before he and Juyeon begin to walk away. "They're rehearsing once more. Feel free to watch." Sunwoo can hear his distinguishable giggle as the pair walks off. They both know.

Fuck.

He walks inside and leaves his umbrella by the door, then shakes his shoes off. He can hear the music thumping from the room they rehearse in. Their steps hit the ground again and again, perfectly in sync.

He sneaks through the door and then leans back on it, amazed at how swift their moves are. He notices how Hyunjoon is more smooth and elegant, while Haknyeon...

Haknyeon is quick and powerful.

The song ends sooner than Sunwoo would have liked. He's been rehearsing his lines in his head, trying to make sure he doesn't mess this up.

He's also practicing how to take his rejection easily.

"Hey, Sunwoo!" He hears Haknyeon say as the duo finish and wipe their foreheads from sweat.

This is not the best place for a confession.

Haknyeon, I've liked you for a long time. A really, really long time. I've been waiting to tell you-

"I've gotta go," Hyunjoon says, smirking at Sunwoo as he grabs his bag and hurries towards the door. "Good luck," He whispers as Sunwoo moves out of the way. "Bye!"

"Do you need something?" Haknyeon asks after Sunwoo stares at him for awhile, at a loss for words. This is definitely not the place to be doing this.

"I-" He feels his heart against his ribs as it beats faster and faster, "I have to tell you something."

Haknyeon shrugs and grabs his towel, tossing is around his neck. "Okay, what's up?"

Shit. What is he supposed to say again? He was just rehearsing his lines...

"Haknyeon..." It suddenly gets warmer in the room. Warmer than it already was from the boys previously dancing in it. He can feel beads of sweat threatening to fall.

"Hey, are you okay?" Haknyeon asks, taking a step forward. He stands before Sunwoo, looking closely at his face. "You look like you're going to be sick." 

"I feel like I'm going to be sick." Sunwoo admits, chuckling a bit while avoiding Haknyeon's eyes.

Suddenly he feels something brush against the side of his head, right above his ear. He looks up to see Haknyeon dabbing his face with his towel.

"What are you doing?"

"You're sweating. We should go outside, it's raining so it will be cooler. Come on," Haknyeon turns to go back to where his belongings are located, but Sunwoo can't let him go yet. He hasn't said it yet. He has to now, or he never will.

He grabs his friend's wrist and holds him back. "Wait,"

"Sunwoo, whatever you need to tell me," Haknyeon sighs, "Tell me."

Taking a deep breath, Sunwoo tightens his grip on Haknyeon's wrist and says what he's been holding in for way too long.

"I-I like your dancing."

"What the fuck?"

Sunwoo jerks back in surprise. What? Damn it.

"Sorry?"

"Oh..." Haknyeon realizes what he said after a few moments and turns away. "I guess..."

"You guess, what?"

"I guess I thought you were going to tell me something else." 

Yeah, Sunwoo, because you were going to tell him something else.

"Shit. Haknyeon," Sunwoo clenches his fists so hard he swears his nails are piercing his skin, "I meant to tell you I like you."

Woah. There it is. Out there. To be heard. By Haknyeon.

Sunwoo lifts his eyes from where they've been resting on the floor, to see Haknyeon with the brightest smile on his face. 

"Took you long enough." He says breathlessly.

'What-What do you mean?"

"I mean," Haknyeon takes a step closer once again and flashes him that grin that drives Sunwoo crazy, "I've been waiting for you to tell me for months."

"You knew?"

"Everybody knew. Except you, actually. Until Hyunjoon made it explicitly clear."

"How do you know that?"

"He and Juyeon aren't the most quiet whisperers, and they like to talk a lot during downtime in between rehearsal sets." Haknyeon giggles as Sunwoo's cheeks grow hotter and hotter. "I'm also not an idiot. You get so cute when you're nervous around me, did you know that? You get all red and flustered, and you speak in a higher voice. It's nice to take a break from dark and broody Sunwoo."

"You called me cute..." Sunwoo's brain isn't working as fast as it usually does, mostly because Haknyeon's stupid face is right in front of his, wearing that stupid smile.

"Yeah. I'm surprised you didn't figure out that I like you too."

-

Youngjae sending a text to the Dynamic Four chat? Normal. Youngjae sending a picture of Hyunjoon into the Dynamic Four chat? Irregular, but not abnormal. Youngjae sending a picture of Hyunjoon looking happy while with Youngjae? Out of the ordinary, never before seen. Something is wrong. 

Juyeon found Sunwoo placing apples on a stand, looking particularly at peace.

Something is definitely wrong.

"Hey," He says, approaching and picking up an apple before placing it back in the wrong spot. Sunwoo sends him a glare and puts the apple back where it was originally set. "We need to talk."

"Why? Did something happen with you and Jaehyun?"

"No- Well, yes, but that doesn't matter right now. Did you look in the group chat?"

"Which one?" Sunwoo moves over to the next stand and starts stacking again. "Crackhead chat or our chat?"

"Our chat. The Dynamic Four."

"I hate that name. Also, and you supposed to be working?"

"Whatever. And you love the name, don't even lie." Juyeon leans on the apple stand, trying to take Sunwoo's focus off of the damn fruit. "Did you?"

"No. Why? Did Youngjae accidentally send nudes again?"

"That was photoshop, there's no way he looks like that when uncovered. I mean-no! It was something Youngjae sent but it wasn't nudes! It was of Hyunjoon."

"So? It's not like they aren't friends."

"Yeah, but they aren't exactly close. They never hang out alone." Juyeon pulls up the picture and shows his younger friend. "Why does he look so happy to be with Youngjae?"

Sunwoo pauses to look at it before taking a minute to contemplate. "So... they became friends?"

"I've never seen Hyunjoon smile like that. Especially right now... with the whole showcase stressing him the fuck out." Juyeon looks at the picture again. Hyunjoon is lying on the grass, eyes closed and mouth spread out in the largest grin his ever seen from his friend. 

"Wait," Sunwoo grabs the phone to look again. "Look at their hands."

"What do you mean?" Juyeon examines the picture again. There's two hands to the right of Hyunjoon's head, but he thought they were both Hyunjoon's folded together.

"That's Youngjae's ring." Sunwoo points to the hand on top. And he's right. Hyunjoon and Youngjae's hands are tightly intertwined with each other. How did he not notice this?

"So... what does that mean?" Juyeon receives a smack on the shoulder from Sunwoo after he says that. He loses his balance on the fruit stand and almost drops his phone.

"It means, that they're dating."

"What the fuck? No way," Juyeon laughs. He stops after seeing Sunwoo's serious expression. 

"I'm not kidding." He says, "I suspected Hyunjoon because of the way he acted towards him. It's the same way I act towards Haknyeon, except he's more harsh. I didn't ask though because that's always how Hyunjoon has been with him. But now..." He sighs, "Now it makes sense."

"You're messing with me. You have to be." Juyeon chuckles, picking up a different apple. Sunwoo glares at him again and shakes his head.

"I'm not."

"But... you've seen the way Hyunjoon is to him. He's always either ignoring or glaring at him. There's no way Hyunjoon has any feelings towards Youngjae. And Youngjae? Did he really get over me that fast?"

Sunwoo scoffs. "Don't think so highly of yourself. I've never seen someone move on that fast. If only you could follow his lead..." He lets his words trail off before moving to the next stand where he starts stacking oranges. Jesus, how boring can one job be?

"Hey. Stop bringing him up like that." Juyeon says, but realizes he doesn't have to defend him anymore. "Besides... I ended it."

Sunwoo pauses and looks at his friend. "For good?"

"For good."

"I better not walk in on you guys getting down and dirty like I did last time."

"We weren't doing anything!"

"I could see your di- You know what, I don't care. I don't care anymore." Despite his reaction, Juyeon senses that Sunwoo is a bit happier. He's currently bopping his head to the song playing throughout the grocery store, which never happens. 

"Something happened with you and Haknyeon, right?" He asks, grabbing the orange out of Sunwoo's hand and tossing it in the air. He doesn't drop it. Plus 5 cool hyung points.

His younger friend freezes before grabbing a different orange. "Oh... yeah." His ears are dark red and Juyeon can't help but laugh a little. It's so cute.

"How did it go down? Was it straight forward? Messy? Did you kiss him?" 

"No, I did not kiss him. I confessed, and he called me cute... I don't know." Sunwoo turns to hide the stupid grin on his face.

Juyeon squeals so loudly the people shopping turn to stare at the pair. He doesn't care. The usuals know the group that comes to visit Sunwoo by now.

"You look like you own the lottery, bro. So are you two together now?"

"Yeah."

"Sick. Wanna go see if we can pry the truth out of Hyunjoon and Youngjae?"

"Yes. I so badly do."

"I'll pick you up when your shift is over."

"Alrighty."

Juyeon left his friend to his oranges and shot a text to the Dynamic Four group chat to meet at Younghoon's Starbucks in an hour.

As expected, they're late. He and Sunwoo waited for about 20 minutes before they decided to show up, standing awkwardly far apart. When they sit down, Hyunjoon scoots his chair over so they aren't too close.

Juyeon wants to laugh in their faces about how obvious they're being with their hiding.

"Nice of you two to join us." Sunwoo says bluntly. "You are both looking particularly warm on this fine winter day."

It was true. Youngjae had beads of sweat sitting beside his ears, and Hyunjoon's face was shiny, the same way it is when they're rehearsing.

"Oh, I was at the gym." Youngjae says, focused on the drink Juyeon had gotten for him. 

"Bullshit," Sunwoo intercepts, "Since when do you go to the gym?"

"Since last week, thank you very much!" 

"Okay," Sunwoo sneers at his friend then turns to Hyunjoon, who is surprisingly acting normal. Observing. "What's your excuse?"

"It's called Hot Topic for a reason." He replies in a dull manner. Juyeon can almost see the steam of frustration coming out of his ears.

"Hey," Juyeon touches his shoulder and gives him a look. One of those that says 'if you don't shut up i'm going to hit you'.

"Come on, you're late sometimes too. Give us a break." Youngjae says, his voice sounding light and confident. He's trying to calm Sunwoo down as well.

Hyunjoon is doing nothing.

"Yeah," Juyeon sends the look again, "He's sorry. Right, Sunwoo? Come on, you're never this tense. I think he's just nervous."

"Wha-Why would he be nervous?" Hyunjoon asks. "Is there something you haven't told us? Perhaps... about someone in particular?" He smirks and leans across the table so he's staring straight into his best friend's eyes.

"Oh, thanks, Juyeon, for that smooth introduction." He pauses, taking in the looks he's receiving from his friends. They're eager to hear, and probably already know. "Haknyeon and I-"

"I knew it! He finally grew a pair and did it!" Hyunjoon said that a little too loud, and the group turned around to see Younghoon laughing his ass off. 

"Wait- What did Sunwoo do?" Younghoon asks, trying to catch his breath.

"He finally snatched Haknyeon!" Youngjae screeches. Sunwoo wants to run away from the embarrassments that are his friends. Juyeon is cackling so hard he's going to fall off his chair.

When Sunwoo and Juyeon turn back they see Hyunjoon with his arms around Youngjae's neck, shaking him back and forth while he celebrates. Youngjae is looking back at him with the fondest smile, and Sunwoo looks at Juyeon through the sides of his eyes. 

Youngjae basically just confirmed how much he liked Hyunjoon, just by the one smile.

But Youngjae never smiles like that. He must have thought they still weren't looking too, because he pecks Hyunjoon on the neck before celebrating with him.

Juyeon sighs. Uh oh.

How are two enemies turned lovers going to make that work?


	7. when jaehyun has a party: part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jaehyun hosts one of his infamous parties  
> what else is there to be said?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part two coming when i feel like it lmao

Out of all of their friends, the younger ones were never invited to Jaehyun's parties. It made sense, since they were still high school students, but it always felt a little strange when they couldn't relate to the jokes and memories that were shared afterward between the older guys.

But apparently Jaehyun had deemed them worthy, because Youngjae got the text the night before about it. He called Juyeon right away to tell him, but he already seemed to know.

"Oh- Did Jaehyun tell you?"

"He mentioned it a little while ago. Also- Why is it Jaehyun's decision anyway? You could have just shown up to his place- you all know where he lives."

"Yeah but we don't want Sangyeon and Joonyoung getting mad."

Juyeon scoffs. "Sure."

"Oh shut up, like you weren't in our same situation last year." 

"I went to Jaehyun's parties last year." Juyeon says. Youngjae stops bouncing himself up and down on his bed. It takes him a moment to realize why he would have.

"Oh. I forgot about your arrangement." Even last year, Jaehyun and Juyeon had been doing their weird off and on thing. It made Youngjae really angry, but it made him more angry to know that Juyeon won't tell anybody anything about their last encounter. The only thing anyone knew is that something happened, and now the two are off. Rumour has it they're done for good.

At least, that's what Sangyeon could get out of Jaehyun.

"I gotta go. See you later." Juyeon hangs up, leaving Youngjae a bit stunned.

Whatever. Now he can call Hyunjoon.

Now, Youngjae was driving himself and Hyunjoon to Jaehyun's place, both feeling a little nervous for what was about to go down. They pulled up after quite a quiet trip, and Youngjae was half way out of the car when Hyunjoon said to wait.

"What? Did you forget your phone or something?" He asks, getting back in.

"Why haven't we told them yet?"

"Told who what?"

"Our friends, who else? About..." He pauses to bite his lip. Why is he so nervous? "About us."

Oh. Right.

"We can, if you want to. I just assumed you didn't." Youngjae admits, leaning against the window of the driver's seat door so he can look properly and Hyunjoon.

"Why would you assume that?"

"I don't know," He shrugs, "I guess we've been friends for a while, and it would be weird if suddenly we were acting all-"

Hyunjoon finishes his sentence. "Joonyoung and Hyungseo?"

"Exactly."

"I mean, you're right." Hyunjoon leans forward to rest his arms and head on the dashboard. "And we've only been together for like..."

"Not long." It's Youngjae's turn to finish a sentence.

"Not long."

"A week, if we're doing numbers." He says after.

"Oh." Hyunjoon blushes. "Now I feel selfish for not counting."

"I'm not counting."

"You just-" Hyunjoon sits back up and tries to defend but can't help but laugh with Youngjae. The stuff he said was so dumb, and Hyunjoon found every bit of it funny.

"Do you want to wait a bit then? To tell them?" Youngjae asks.

"Sure." Hyunjoon answered and watched as Youngjae shifted back so he could exit the car.

"Sounds good. Shall we get going?" He opens the door, letting the cool air fill the once warm car.

"Yeah." It was already dark, and winter was now in full swing. But Hyunjoon was wearing a jacket today, despite knowing he was going to go inside.

Youngjae had told him to change as soon as he had pulled up to Hyunjoon's house.

But he was thankful, because he knew Youngjae cared enough about him to wear a jacket to a party.

"You aren't drinking tonight, are you?" Hyunjoon asks. 

"No, of course not." Youngjae replies easily. "I'm excited to be here more because of what I'll witness. Weird shit I've never seen before, you know? Anyway, why do you ask? Were you thinking of drinking?"

"No. Definitely not."

Well, not until they were old enough, they both thought.

And Youngjae knew he'd have to bring a lot of his friends home. 

"I want to see you drunk." Youngjae says randomly as they approach the house, loud music coming from inside.

"What- Tonight?" Hyunjoon sputters, missing a step and almost falling forward.

"No, no. Just like, at some point in my life. I wonder what you'd be like."

"Probably pissy."

"Or cute and emotional."

"Or pissy."

"You wouldn't know. You haven't been drunk."

"How do you know that?"

Youngjae stops right before the front door, that's hanging wide open. He struggles to find words. "Wait- When were you drunk?"

Hyunjoon didn't respond and walked right into the house, leaving his boyfriend in the dust.

"Hyunjoon- You have to tell me now!"

-

"No no no no, listen..." Chanhee muttered, covering Changmin's mouth with his hand. "You're employed at a pet store... but you can't tell me what the difference between a cat and a dog is?"

"I just told you! They're different animals!" Changmin protests after ripped Chanhee's hand away. "A cat is a cat, and a dog is a dog!"

"But how are they different?"

"They- You have got to be kidding me." Changmin groans, pushing Chanhee's face away from his.

Somebody had offered them weed. Had it been too much? Probably, but that isn't the point. They're here to have fun, and have fun they will, even if that means sitting on top of each other on one comfy chair arguing about animals.

Chanhee had happily sat himself on Changmin's lap as he pestered him about his question. There was a 100% chance he was way more high than his boyfriend right now.

"If you can't explain it to me, then it's not correct." He continues, pulling Changmin closer to him despite his effort to get away.

"They're a different species, Chanhee! A cat is a feline and a dog is a canine!"

"That means nothing to me." He replies bluntly. "I don't know what those are."

"They're cats and dogs."

"So they're the same thing."

"No! Oh my fuck-"

"Hey!" Chanhee snaps. He starts to poke Changmin in the stomach. "Don't say fuck that isn't polite."

"But you just said it."

"That's different." Chanhee stops poking him and tries to kiss him instead. It's an instinct, like breathing, or blinking. Should he do it in front of all these people? Probably not. But who cares? There's people touching each other everywhere throughout the house. What's two more? 5 people had already told them to get a room, but Chanhee really doesn't want to move from Changmin's lap.

Changmin consistently pushes him away, chuckling as Chanhee tries and tries again.

"You know what else is different?"

"What-Wait-"

"Cats and dogs!"

"You're wrong!"

"This is most stupid conversation I've ever listened to." A voice says from behind them. The pair tilt their heads to see Jaehyun and Younghoon giving them very confused looks. Jaehyun continues speaking, "And I used to spend my lunch breaks in high school with the 3 young ones and Juyeon."

"You can't call them 'young ones' if they're 2 years younger than you." Younghoon says, hiding his face in his drink after poking fun at Jaehyun.

He scoffs. "None of my friends respect me!" He stomps away, probably looking for Sangyeon to complain to, which he's good at. 

"I respect him," Changmin sighs, "He's a good dancer."

"That's it?" Younghoon asks, leaning on the wall beside them so the two don't have to crane their necks back.

"Well, no. He's nice. But he's done some dumb shit." Changmin replies with a half-assed shrug.

"Language, Changmin!" Chanhee pokes his stomach again but is ignored.

"He has?" Younghoon questions.

"Yeah. He and Youngjae like to try stupid things in my store and almost get me fired. And don't you know about him and Juyeon?"

"I don't think this is your place to talk about it, Changmin." Chanhee interrupts. "It's their weird sex life."

Younghoon chokes on his drink. "Wait-Sex life?"

"Damn, he doesn't know anything!" Chanhee laughs, cuddling into Changmin.

"Anyway, they used to be on and off and on and off and on and off-"

"Yeah I got it." Younghoon says, "And what else?"

"And they kept trying to make their relationship work but Jaehyun's family is super set on their shit so-"

"Changmin please stop swearing!"

"So he was having trouble staying loyal to Juyeon."

"That's it?" Younghoon asks, swirling whatever he was drinking around in his cup. "Are they still like that?"

"Rumour has if Juyeon ended it." Chanhee huffs, counting the hairs on his arm. 12, 13, 14...

"Then is that why Jaehyun told me he was making a move on someone tonight? He's getting over Juyeon?"

The pair look at Younghoon, and then at each other.

"That fast? Jaehyun wouldn't." Changmin states. "He ain't like that."

"Don't fucking say ain't." Chanhee hits his shoulder.

"Let me say what I want to say!"

"Anyway-" Chanhee was going to add on to what Changmin said, but Younghoon had disappeared. "Welp, guess it's just us. Back to my point-"

"Chanhee, for the last time, they are totally different. Have you ever even looked at them side by side? There is nothing in common!"

"Four legs-"

"Stop-"

"Tail-"

Chanhee, please-"

"Eyes."

"All creatures have eyes, Chanhee."

"Moles are blind, Changmin. Since when did you get so insensitive?"

-

"Keeeeeviiiiiiiiin!"

Joonyoung was running around the house trying to find Hyungseo, who for some reason was very hard to find. He was originally searching for him just because they had gotten separated, but now he was on a mission. He'd witnessed something horrifying.

Out of all the doors he could have opened, the one he chose contained his two friends doing unholy things.

Kissing. Ew.

Changmin and Chanhee were never really the couple for PDA. Joonyoung was sure that they did do the... relationship stuff... but never in front of other people. It's why new friends like Younghoon take so long to realize that they're actually together. 

He walked into the kitchen, expecting to see Hyungseo there talking with somebody, but he only found Younghoon and Sangyeon, who were standing close and talking quietly. Suspicious? Very. Worth investigating right now? Absolutely. He approached slowly, careful not to scare them away.

"Hey," He said casually, keeping his distance. As soon as they noticed somebody they knew, the pair took a few steps apart from each other. Younghoon watched Sangyeon back up, then proceeded to do the same, as if he hadn't wanted to in the first place. "What are you guys up to?"

Younghoon hid himself behind his cup, and Sangyeon cleared his throat awkwardly before responding. Something was definitely up, and Joonyoung knew that it was their weird feelings. What else would it be? Sangyeon had told him his worries about Younghoon, and Joonyoung took that as he was going to back off. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but Sangyeon did not seem to be backing off.

"Just catching up." He says, keeping his mouth in a thin line after speaking.

"Oh," Joonyoung winked at Sangyeon as Younghoon awkwardly looked at his feet. "Well, have either of you seen Hyungseo?"

Younghoon coughed on his drink. "I feel like you ask that too much. He's like your dog that you keep losing."

"That's accurate. I need to get a leash for him." That got a laugh out of the two, and Sangyeon pointed at the stairs.

"I watched him go upstairs a little while ago. Maybe don't open any doors, though." He warns.

"Don't worry," Joonyoung cringes at the memory, "I've already learnt my lesson." Joonyoung bid them farewell and went on his merry way to find Hyungseo. There were a lot of people standing on the stairs, trying their best to look cool and intimidating.

It was working. Joonyoung pushed himself through until he heard someone screaming song lyrics from Jaehyun's bedroom. After the screaming came an actually good voice, saving the performance. Joonyoung immediately knew it was Hyungseo, so he went in, despite the sign that read it was "off limits". That never applied to the 12 of them. Insdie was his boyfriend and Youngjae, screeching into karaoke mics plugged into Jaehyun's TV.

"Hey!" Hyungseo waves excitedly when he sees him enter, "Look! We found Glee Karaoke!"

"This is the best day of my life," Youngjae adds before belting out the next verse of Don't Stop Believing (because of course they chose the iconic song). 

"What's up?" Hyungseo asked, taking advantage of Youngjae's current solo. He sat down on Jaehyun's bed where Joonyoung had also found a seat. Juyeon was behind them, hugging a pillow and complaining about a lot of things at once. He'd had quite a bit to drink, it seems, but he was mostly rambling about how "those three need to stop speaking English around us...". Well, whatever. Joonyoung responded in English anyway.

"I saw Changmin and Chanhee going at it."

"You what?" Hyungseo almost drops his mic, catching it before it hits the ground. "Like- Actually going at it or-"

"No- I mean they were all kissy and touchy and-" Joonyoung shivered.

"Ew." Hyungseo shudders. He quickly glances at Youngjae, then leans in towards Joonyoung. "I've got fresh tea. Let me finish this song," He whispers into Joonyoung's ear, then pecks his cheek like that was his original intention. He returns to his spot and starts the chorus, Youngjae adding his adlibs in wherever seemed necessary (though Kev did a good job on his own).

Joonyoung watched and laughed until they finished the song. Hyungseo let is mic fall to the floor this time, and hastily grabbed Joonyoung's hand and dragged him out of the room. He took him down the stairs again and onto the back porch, where the only person present was some random friend of Jaehyun's passed out on the ground.

"Shit- Kev, it's cold outside!" Joonyoung complains, wrapping his arms around himself.

"Do you want the tea or not?"

"Can't this wait until we get home?"

"Youngjae and Hyunjoon are dating."

"What."

No. Those two... no.

"Yeah."

"Don't mess with me-"

"I"m not! Youngjae told me himself. He really wanted to tell somebody, but Hyunjoon isn't ready, so..."

"So he told you? Of all people, he told you?" Joonyoung chuckles, feeling the cold air pinch at his lungs. "This is crazy..."

"I know, right? Who would have thought those two would get together." Hyungseo looks into the night sky. There are no stars. There never are.

"I thought they hated each other..."

"Me too. Well... actually... hate is a strong word."

"You're right. Strongly dislike?"

"Sounds about right."

The pair sit in a strange silence. Joonyoung can't seem to wrap his head around it.

"How long do you think it's been going on for?" Joonyoung asks.

"Since Youngjae told me I've been reviewing their actions towards each other. I'd say no more than a few days. The last time we all hung out they still sat pretty far away. Actually... Hyunjoon was the only one who kept his distance."

Joonyoung stifled a laugh. "So... he was a panicked gay then?"

"Oh absolutely."

Just then, Youngjae bursts through the door and points at Hyungseo lazily. "Dude,"

"What's up?"

"Don't tell anyone, okay? Not even pretty boy here." He shifts his point to Joonyoung, then turns and slams the door behind him.

Joonyoung looks at Hyungseo, who's trying to gulp away his guilt. 

"Oops." He mumbles.

"Oh, shut up. You weren't going to tell anyone but me so it's okay."

"You're right." Hyungseo pauses and squints at the door where Youngjae had just disappeared from. "Did he drink?"

"Nah. He wouldn't."

"But he called you pretty boy."

"He's just being observant."

"Damn, you're right again."


	8. when jaehyun has a party: part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jaehyun's party has some unexpected turns.

"Wait- She's just gone?" Sunwoo asks.

"Well, yeah," Haknyeon says, leaning against the wall. "The person picked her up earlier today."

"And you waited to tell me this? I never got to meet her!" Sunwoo can't help but feel incredibly betrayed. He couldn't believe how Haknyeon could just give away the stray kitty without telling him this. He hadn't gotten to pet her yet. And he was so excited to.

"I mean, you did have a chance to. But don't you remember? You were too scared of me and ran off." Haknyeon smirks, hiding himself behind his cup.

Sunwoo lightly kicks him in the shin. "Watch it, buddy."

"Ew, don't bro-zone me."

"What the hell is a bro-zone?"

"Exactly what it sounds like."

Sunwoo shakes his head in embarrassment. Jesus, why did he have to like a guy like this?

"My bad, I won't bro-zone you anymore. As long as you never say "bro-zone" again."

"Deal." Haknyeon chuckles. The pair are standing in a narrow hall that leads to God knows where. All they care about is that nobody is coming through here, so they are perfectly able to talk. Haknyeon is leaning on one wall, and Sunwoo is across from him. It was wonderfully comfortable until Haknyeon said "bro-zone".

"So," Haknyeon says, "You called me last night."

Sunwoo pauses before responding. "Yeah, sorry about that. It was late so I wasn't really expecting you to pick up."

"No, it's fine. Really, it is. I'm sorry I didn't answer."

"Oh. It's fine, too."

"Why did you call me though?" Haknyeon asks. This morning, after he had woken up and checked his phone, he worried about Sunwoo. Why was he calling that late? Why didn't he just text him instead? "Was something going on? Are you okay?"

"What? Of course. I just couldn't sleep, I guess. Bored."

"Oh." Haknyeon mumbles, looking at the floor. Something doesn't add up. "Well, I was talking to Hyunjoon earlier and asked if you were okay, just because you're my boyfriend and I worry. He said you called him last night, just after you called me. You were crying, Sunwoo. He could barely understand what you were saying."

Sunwoo's ears turned dark red.

"Sunwoo, you can't lie to me about stuff like this." Haknyeon says after a few moments of silence, since Sunwoo had nothing to say.

"I know," He admits, "But I don't want to be a burden on you." He hears Haknyeon scoff. 

"That's the whole point of us dating, you know?" He pushes himself off the wall so there is less space between them. He just wants Sunwoo to understand. "So we can lean on each other if we need to, and have someone to make us happy."

Dating. Boyfriend. These words made Sunwoo's breathing stop and heart almost pound out of his chest. Dating. Boyfriend. Dating. Boyfriend.

"Yeah." Sunwoo nods. "You're right."

"Good." Haknyeon takes a step forward and leans his shoulder on the wall where his boyfriend is, so they are closer together. "So, what happened last night?"

"It doesn't matter now."

"It matters the most now. Me not knowing them means it has had time to fester in your head. What happened?" Haknyeon pokes his shoulder lightly. "Please tell me."

Sunwoo sighs before telling about the night before. He is really against dragging down Haknyeon. He doesn't deserve it. "I just had a breakdown."

"Why?"

"I don't know, school, I guess..? Work too. It drains every last bit of energy from my body. I don't have time to do my homework after my shifts because I fall asleep as soon as I get home, so I rush to finish it in the morning, and-" His voice staggers and he stops talking. He hated the way it all poured out of him.

Haknyeon gives him a solemn look. "You're quitting."

"I can't quit."

"Sure you can. Go up to your boss, and say "I quit". Easy."

"Not really. I need this job."

"Why? Can't you ask your parents to lend you some money for a while?"

Sunwoo shakes his head. "No," he mutters, "I can't. I need to save up for university, and I'm nowhere near what I could possibly need. My parents say I need to pay for my own education if I want it, so..."

"That's fucked up."

"Can we not talk about this anymore?"

"Well I can't just let you keep working somewhere that is making your life miserable. I'll help you find somewhere else to go, okay? And I'll help you with the money, too."

"Please don't," Sunwoo protests. Haknyeon shouldn't be worrying about him like this. He's an adult. He can take care of himself. 

"Too late." Haknyeon leans into Sunwoo lightly and rests his head on Sunwoo's shoulder. "And make sure whenever you have another night like that to call me more than once, okay? I promise I will always pick up."

Sunwoo nods, glad Haknyeon's face is turned the other way so he can't see the pink displayed on Sunwoo's cheeks.

"Is this okay?" Haknyeon asks, wrapping his arm around Sunwoo's. "Or is it not enough "bro"?"

"I never want to hear "bro" come out of your mouth again."

Sunwoo felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He took it out and answered the call coming from Hyunjoon.

"Hey," He said, "I haven't seen you or Youngjae all night."

"I know. I need to find you right now." He replies. He says something else that Sunwoo can't hear over the noise, but he does notice Youngjae's voice come after. So they are together. Sunwoo expected so.

"Why? Did something happen?" Haknyeon releases himself a little so he can listen in on the conversation.

"Do you remember our pact? To protect Sangyeon's feelings?"

"Yeah? And?"

Haknyeon mouthed something to Sunwoo, along the lines of "what the hell is he talking about?".

"Well, he and Younghoon got wasted and now we can't find them. After asking around some people said they saw them leave together."

Sunwoo chokes on nothing, which starts a coughing fit. "They WHAT?"

"Oh I see you." Hyunjoon hangs up, and Sunwoo puts his phone away while debriefing Haknyeon on Sangyeon's previous relationships. And how they ended.

Youngjae and Hyunjoon appear and walk towards them.

"This doesn't seem good." Sunwoo admits. The other 3 nod.

-

Jaehyun knows this isn't in his best interest. He should not be doing this, he should not be doing this, he should NOT be doing this.

Yet here he is, running his hands over Juyeon's chest under his shirt as Juyeon presses him against a wall, lips locked together. He should not be doing this. Not while Juyeon was this drunk. He should NOT be doing this.

But he missed him too much. He missed the way he made him feel, he missed the way it all felt. The touch of his hands, the way their bodies moved against each other. He missed the way Juyeon would sleep in his arms, and the texts Jaehyun would receive when Juyeon was feeling lonely. But he doesn't deserve it. Jaehyun messed up too many times. He doesn't deserve someone as good as Juyeon.

Jaehyun broke away from the younger, turning his head to the side so Juyeon could not reconnect their lips. But he just moved on the open space on his neck.

"Juyeon," He spoke, his voice hoarse. "Juyeon, stop,"

Juyeon made a sound that probably meant "no", so Jaehyun put an arm between them. Juyeon whined in protest, his adorable bottom lip pouting.

"Why?"

"Juyeon, you're drunk,"

"So?"

"So, you need to sleep, or drink some water, or something like that." Jaehyun stood straight up and watched Juyeon spin aimlessly around his bedroom. He then opened the door and walked out.

"Juyeon-" Jaehyun grabbed his arm before he fell down the stairs. Juyeon laughed a bit and fell into Jaehyun.

"Jaehyunnnn," He said, wrapping his arms around Jaehyun's torso. "I miss you."

"You don't mean that."

"I doooo! I do! I miss you so much, and all of our friends are dating each other and I want to date someone too!"

"You should date Youngjae," Jaehyun says, his tone having more sarcasm that in he intended. "I'm sure he would love that."

"No, I can't... He's with Hyunjoon now and I don't even like him like that... I just like you!"

"You don't like me, Juyeon. And-Wait, those two are dating?"

"Yes! I want to be like them, young and in love," Juyeon tried to kiss Jaehyun again but was pushed away.

"You don't love me."

Juyeon stood up straight and glared at Jaehyun. "I do."

Jaehyun wanted to kiss him. He always wants to kiss him. But he's drunk. And he's spewing out things he shouldn't. Juyeon does not love him. 

But Juyeon kisses him again, and Jaehyun can't help but return it. He loves him. He loves him he loves him he loves him. He needs to get his shit together and make this work, because he loves him too much to let him go.

He cannot let him go.

Juyeon pushes him down onto his bed and kisses him so hard that his lips are plump and red when they break away for air. Jaehyun shouldn't be doing this. Not now, not yet. But he is ready to save this. He cannot let Juyeon go.

-

When Sangyeon woke up the next morning, he had no idea where he was. The bed was too soft, and the sound the rain made was different. This wasn't his house. As he opened his eyes and fully gained consciousness, he noticed way too many things in the span of 3 seconds. His clothes were on the floor, the other half of the bed was messy, and there was an open condom wrapper on the bedside table next to his pillow.

What the hell happened last night?

Whose house is he in? Whose bed is he under the covers of, naked (with the exception of socks), with a piercing headache?

Headache? Fuck, he drank a lot last night.

He quickly got out of the bed and threw his clothes on, trying his best to ignore the smell of alcohol and weed coming off of them. As soon as he was sure he had everything in his pockets, someone came into the room.

Fuck.

Younghoon was standing there, glass of water in hand, and hangover medicine in the other. "You're awake." He said. His smile was unsure, like he didn't know what else to say. And if Sangyeon was honest, he had no idea what to say in return.

"I am." He muttered, hitting himself mentally. What was he doing here? He had-

Woah. He had sex with Younghoon.

No.

"How do you feel?" Younghoon asks, trying to hand him the glass of water. He doesn't take it.

"What happened last night?"

"You don't remember?"

"Nothing past Joonyoung looking for Hyungseo. Or, did that even happen?"

"It did."

"How drunk was I?"

"Extremely." Younghoon continues to hold the water in front of him. Sangyeon just stares at the glass. 

"Did we...?" He starts to ask, then points to Younghoon's bed. "You know..."

"Oh." Younghoon scratched the back of his neck. This was way too damn awkward, and Sangyeon really needed to get out of here. "You really don't remember?"

"So we did."

"Yeah."

Sangyeon wants to say something, but there are ZERO words forming in his brain. What does he say, what does he say?

He did not want this to happen.

He does not want a relationship.

"I need to go," Sangyeon finally says. He pushes past Younghoon, and leaves the bedroom, then looking for the front door.

"Wait- What happened?" Younghoon calls after him. "Did I do something wrong?"

"It's not you. I'm really sorry. I-" Sangyeon runs a hand through his greasy, unwashed hair. He feels gross. "I'm sorry, Younghoon." He turns and opens the door, closing it abruptly behind him.

Younghoon stares at the door. He just left.

He left.

Younghoon swore he could hear his heart shatter into a million little pieces. So, Sangyeon regrets it? A drunk hook-up like this, and he feels that disgusted by it?

He knows now. Younghoon knows now that he shouldn't have developed these goddamn feelings. If he hadn't, this wouldn't have happened. And he wouldn't feel this shitty about a hook-up rushing out on him.

A hook-up.

Sangyeon was not just a hook-up.


	9. when younghoon breaks

"Hold up, let me get this straight," Youngjae says, hands out in front of him and not looking at anything in particular.

"Technically, you're getting this gay-" Hyungseo adds. This does not help.

"Shut up, Kevin! You still told Jacob despite me telling you not to?"

Hyungseo raised a finger. "I told him before you told me not to. Therefore, I'm not in the wrong." 

"It's only been 5 minutes and I'm done with this conversation," Youngjae concludes, standing up from the couch where he was sitting. "You said there would be pizza and there is no cheesy-saucy-doughy goodness anywhere to be seen." As he's walking towards the door, he turns and makes a final statement. "Bitch."

Hyungseo can't help but laugh, because he will never understand his younger friend's thought process. "Don't disrespect your seniors! And the pizza is on the way!" That makes Youngjae pause. He then slowly begins to step back towards the couch until he's sat back down.

"Why did you even invite me over?"

"Can I note have my good buddy at my apartment?"

"Not if we're going to talk about my relationship that you LEAKED to your BOYFRIEND. And be void of pizza!"

"I said it's on its way! But," Hyungseo sighs, tightening his grip on the pillow he has hugged to his chest, "I think we do need to talk about Hyunjoon."

"Why, though?" Youngjae stops and begins to look nervous and worried. "Do you... do you not think we're good together?"

Hyungseo sighs, shaking his head. "No, that's not what I want to say. Jacob and I were just a little confused on how it all... happened? From what we've heard and seen, you two don't really get along."

Youngjae nods. "Yeah. He didn't like me, and now he does. A lot. And I've liked him for awhile. So this works out rather nicely."

"Okay..." Hyungseo says, restraining himself from showing any signs of annoyance. Could he be any more vague? "But like, did you confess or something?"

Youngjae grins a little, recalling the memory. "I didn't, he did."

"Hyunjoon confessed to you?" Hyungseo asks in disbelief. "Since when does Hyunjoon show emotion?"

His younger friend snickered a bit. "I know, right? Made me feel all special and stuff." Hyungseo noticed the seeping blush on his cheeks. At least it was a pure relationship. Just then, his phone buzzed and he guessed that it was the food delivery.

"Your pizza is here. Go get it, bitch." 

"I will accept this slander as revenge for my previous actions." With that, Youngjae disappears out the door to get the pizza from the lobby. This leaves Hyungseo in an uncomfortable silence as he mulls over what Youngjae just said. Hyunjoon, who is known for being kind of cold to anyone but Sunwoo and Juyeon, despite him being friends with, well, their dumbass group. His humour is passive and... kinda mean if you think too deep into it. So, he who isn't the softest, confessed to Youngjae, a human puppy?

That makes him sound like a furry. Youngjae isn't a furry.

Still, how the hell did he come to the conclusion that he had a crush on Youngjae? What were they doing when he realized it? When the hell did it happen?

Youngjae opened the door again, pizza box in hand, and a slice in his mouth while he walks back inside. "

"Are you sure you aren't like.... hypnotizing him in some way?" Hyungseo asks, reaching for the box. But Youngjae tugs it away.

"Am I that unlikable?"

"No, it's just that Hyunjoon is unable to feel."

"He feels plenty," Youngjae sighs, flopping back down on the couch and placing the pizza box on his stomach. Hyungseo's hand is only to be swatted away when he persistently reaches for a slice. "Ever since we... you know..."

"Hooked up?"

"No! That sounds.... wrong." Youngjae cringes. He hugs the pizza box to his chest, looking for a sense of security. "But after that night he's been so... different, I guess. He's still Hyunjoon, just happier, and really clingy honestly." He sighs again, hugging the pizza box tighter. "But it's adorable."

"You are whipped, my friend." Hyungseo nudges his friend's shoulder with his foot. "Eric has a boyfriend!" He sing-songs, continuing to poke him with his foot.

Youngjae grabs his foot and tickles the bottom of it, sending Hyungseo into a squirmy fit of giggles. "Perish."

After his attempt at bugging Youngjae (which had worked pretty well) he pulls his foot away before pestering him with more questions. "Does anyone else know? Aside from Jacob and I?"

Youngjae shakes his head. "I don't think so. But knowing me I probably exposed us at some point."

"When did he confess?"

"I pulled him out of his house at 3 am one night, and we ended up in a grass field laughing our asses off. He confessed, and I kissed him."

"Woaaah!" Hyungseo jumps to his feet. "You already KISSED?"

Youngjae grins stupidly. "Yeah. I got pictures from that night..."

"SHOW ME BITCH I WANT TO SEE YOUR KISSES... wait actually I kind of don't. Forget I said anything." Hyungseo mimics throwing up while Youngjae takes out his phone.

"Not of that! Just pictures of him." He turns the screen so Hyungseo can see. It's a picture of Hyunjoon lying on the grass with the biggest smile on his face. Hyungseo has never seen his younger friend like this.

"That's actually so adorable. I hate your relationship, it's countering mine."

"We're cuter than you. Accept it."

"Never."

Youngjae smiles when he looks back at the picture. "I sent this to the groupchat I have with him, Sunwoo and Juyeon. They didn't respond? I guess happy Hyunjoon left them speechless." He "hahaha"s in delight.

"I think they were confused as to why y'all were holding hands. Because, you know, you haven't told them?" Hyungseo says, smirking at his dumbass of a friend. How did he not notice? Was he really THAT blinded by Hyunjoon?

"We aren't holding hands what are you-" Youngjae does a double take on the picture and notices the top left corner.

"See?"

"Fuck."

-

"Hello?" Hyunjoon answers the call coming from Joonyoung, extremely confused as to why he of all people is calling him. 

"Hyunjoon, how's it going?" He says back, a weird shuffling noise in the background. And then a screech. What was Hyungseo up to?

"Fine...? How are you...?" He doesn't want to sound this puzzled, but he and Joonyoung don't really talk that much. 

"I'm good."

Weird silence. Really weird silence.

"Did you need something?" He asks in the midst of the awkward pause, hoping this call would end a little bit earlier.

"Oh, well not really. Just curious what you were up to. You know we're all hanging out after work tomorrow, right?"

"Of course, Changmin won't stop spamming the groupchat about it. Something about watching Younghoon's experience since he's still fresh meat and all that." Hyunjoon cackles a little and hears Joonyoung laughing over the receiver as well. "Hey, speaking of Younghoon," He takes this opportunity to ask one of Sangyeon's good friends about where the two of them disappeared the night of the party. "Apparently he and Sangyeon disappeared after the party? We were looking for Sangyeon and couldn't find either of them. Do you know if they went home together?"

Joonyoung coughs. Loudly. It sounds like he's choking. Hyunjoon is worried until he clears his throat and answers clear as day, "I dunno, man."

"Youngjae, Sunwoo and I were worried about their relationship." That earned another choke from Joonyoung.

"What relationship?"

"Come on, Joonyoung. There's something going on with them." That seems to break Joonyoung enough for him to finally talk.

"I know, I know. There's something weird going on, but all I know is that Sangyeon isn't looking for a relationship. Do you know his history?"

"I do."

"So you know how things end for Sangyeon. He falls too easily in love and gets his heard broken too quickly."

Hyunjoon sighs. "As his friends, it's really frustrating. How people always took advantage of him."

Joonyoung's breathing becomes funny on the other end of the call. He doesn't say anything for a while. But then, he pulls throws a curve ball at him. "That's what I'm worried about for you and Youngjae."

Hyunjoon stops breathing. He... what?

"You what?"

Joonyoung doesn't reply. The only sound Hyunjoon hears is his older friend's breath on the other end of the call.

"How did you know?" Hyunjoon asks after a few seconds of silence, accepting the fact that Joonyoung knows about his relationship. "Were we obvious? Did Youngjae- Oh my goodness, Youngjae spilled to Hyungseo. Of course."

"Please don't be mad at him." Joonyoung says, "You know how Youngjae is."

Hyunjoon sighs, a stupid grin on his face. "I know." He wipes the smile of his face, "But me knowing Youngjae well means I know the relationship we're getting into, and he knows as well." 

"I understand. I believe you guys know, but you're both really young-"

"You and Hyungseo have been together since you were younger than us."

"This isn't my point-"

"Then what is your point?" Hyunjoon is gradually getting more frustrated. There's nothing wrong with their relationship. Sure, it came about... strangely and unexpectedly, but Hyunjoon has never felt this way before. Ever. That meant it was a good step forward. If it didn't work out, it's experience. But Hyunjoon wants nothing more than for this to work out.

"I know you guys are great together. I haven't seen it, but I know it." Joonyoung admits, and Hyunjoon can practically hear his cheeky smile. "If you need advice or help with something, Hyungseo and I are always here."

"I know. Thank you." His gratitude is sincere, and he hangs up thinking he's gotten a little closer to Joonyoung. 

He's waiting at a bus stop right now, the bus being behind schedule. Or at least, he assumes. It hasn't come yet, and Hyunjoon is eager to get to his destination. Aside from his own home (and now Youngjae's as well) the dance studio was the only place he was completely comfortable. With the showcase nearing, it made rehearsing strange and somewhat exciting. Anticipatory.

Terrifying.

But Hyunjoon doesn't constantly review their choreography anymore. He doesn't stay up into the early morning watching, studying and correcting. Instead Youngjae talks his ear off on the phone, helping him fall asleep.

He has more energy than he's ever had before. And they are going to destroy the competition.

-

"Younghoon, where are you going?"

The barista pauses, turning back to his manager. "I was on my way out. We're done for the night, aren't we?"

"I just need you to clean out the machines again."

"Oh my-I've cleaned them twice already."

His manager gives him a glare, before pointing behind the corner and finishing her wiping of the counter tops. Heaving a sigh, Younghoon puts his bag down and sets to work again on the machines. Which he's already cleaned two times, and did the same during his last shift.

She really won't give him a break.

"Doesn't this count as overtime? I have places to be!" He calls to his manager, who's left him alone in the storefront. 

"No! You can leave last, though, and lock up if you'd like?"

No. Younghoon has places to be.

Specifically, the Tech Shop across the way where he can see Sangyeon closing the doors and locking everything up. He's leaving soon, but Younghoon needs to catch him.

He cleans the machines recklessly (who cares? He's done it three times now), clocks out and begins to run. He watched Sangyeon leave a few minutes ago, but he couldn't be at his car yet. Younghoon knows he parks pretty far out because he clocks in when it's the most busy.

He isn't gone yet, right?

It's cold outside. It's so cold, and Younghoon is wearing a t-shirt and ripped jeans and is running through the parking lot to where Sangyeon usually parks. He knows because he's creepy and watches Sangyeon when he's not looking. He knows because he can't stop thinking of him.

The car is running but Younghoon is running harder.

He stops in front of it while Sangyeon is making an attempt to leave his spot. He breaks suddenly when he sees Younghoon.

Looking into the car, Younghoon can see how tense Sangyeon gets when he realizes that it's Younghoon before him. The older steps out of his car and sighs. "Why aren't you wearing a jacket?"

"We need to talk." Younghoon says. He ignores the freezing air biting at his bare skin.

"It's winter, Younghoon-"

"We need. To talk."

Sangyeon clenches his jaw, then turns his car off. "About what?"

"You know what,"

"I don't want to talk about it." He begins to step back into his car.

"At least give me a reason." Younghoon calls back to him, his arm reaching out almost desperately. He pulls it back, regretting his instincts. "I just need to know why."

Sangyeon sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry that it happened." He says after a few moments pass. "I was drunk, and stupid-"

"So, you do regret it?" Younghoon can hardly choke out the question, but he doesn't want to hear the words come out of Sangyeon's mouth. It would kill him to hear it from him.

Sangyeon doesn't respond. Younghoon takes that as a yes.

"I'm sorry, Younghoon-"

"No, I understand." Younghoon takes a deep breath. "I just had to know."

"I don't know what happened that night, and I'm sorry if I lead you on. I'm not looking for a relationship," Sangyeon admits, giving Younghoon an apologetic look. 

"Oh." He nods, wishing he didn't have to hear such a harsh rejection. "Got it." He can feel tears fall but he doesn't acknowledge. 

But of course, Sangyeon will for him! "You're crying," He points out. Congrats, Sangyeon! You can see! "Do you... like me?"

"No shit, Sangyeon!" Younghoon can't take this. "All this time I thought you liked me too! When we first met, you stared at me like I was an angel, for Christ's sake! You made sure I wasn't overwhelmed with our crazy friends, and you-"

"Younghoon, I can't think about this right now!"

"Why not?"

"Because I've never been so confused with my feelings before! You threw me for a loop and I've never felt so lost. I'm not looking for a relationship because I'm not ready for one. I don't know if I like you," The eye contact is killing Younghoon, but he can't show his weakness. Sangyeon will never take him seriously now... now that he showed his dumbass emotions. 

"You know, I need to leave," Younghoon says, backing up from the car. "I'm sorry I made such a mess with this. You don't deserve a problem like me."

"Younghoon-"

He heard Sangyeon calling his name. It was one of his favourite things that came out of his mouth.

But he was already gone.


	10. when juyeon comes to a conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> juyeon's mother is wiser than he thought she was, the whole gang hangs out and changmin and chanhee have a chat about their friends

"Juyeon, do you want some tea?" Juyeon's mother calls from the kitchen.

"Sure." Juyeon replies half-heartedly. Does he want tea? Who cares anymore.

Wow, this really is Sad Juyeon hours. Who would have guessed?

He's laid himself all over the sofa and is channel surfing without really coming to a conclusion on what he wants to watch. It's probably because he doesn't really want to watch anything, but instead just wants a distraction.

He can't get the image out of his head. 

He'd woken up, in his own bed when he had no memory of leaving Jaehyun's house that night, with a piercing headache and a fuzzy memory. He remembered having one drink, then one too many because he wanted to feel excited and happy for once in his goddamn life. He wanted to feel alive again, because he hadn't had any sense of freedom since he ended everything with Jaehyun. When they were together, he felt like nothing could stop them. They were two dumb guys in love and the world could make way.

But it was also consuming, and the rejection hurt so much. Watching his friends' relationships be comfortable in public together, and have Jaehyun push him away like he was a one time fling.

He thought he would spend the night with his friends, having fun. But the only clear face he can remember from that night is Jaehyun's, because he knows he did something he shouldn't have. It's how it always happens. Jaehyun has these parties while they're split up, they both have too much to drink and end up in each other's beds, or all over each other until their friends split them up or one brings Juyeon home.

He wishes that had happened that night. Sangyeon usually keeps a careful eye. Where was he that night?

Juyeon lets out a heavy sigh. He's done with all this bullshit. Where's his happy ending? Why hasn't it come yet? Where's the partner of his dreams that's riding on a unicorn to get him out of this relationship? As he pictures it, the knight on the unicorn raises his helmet and his face is Jaehyun's, soft and handsome.

Goddammit.

He has no focus. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees h i m. The showcase is coming up very soon and he hasn't had any focus during rehearsals. The team says they understand, but they all have wonderful relationships right now (even if Hyunjoon and Youngjae won't admit to it being a thing) so they don't get to say they understand. They've never felt what he's feeling. His dancing is now sloppy, and he's forgetting more and more of the choreography. He's a mess, and it's Jaehyun's fault.

Or is it his fault? His fault because he just can't let him go?

"It's a new flavour," His mother says as she hands him the mug. His stomach is turning as he thinks about Jaehyun. Maybe tea isn't a good idea.

His mother takes a seat beside him. "Juyeon, what's happened to you?"

Pulled out of his trance by his mom, he looks up at her. She look's worried. "Huh?"

"You seem so down lately. You don't talk about the dance team, or school, or work... I'm worried something happened and you haven't told me."

Here it is. Juyeon hasn't told his parents about Jaehyun. Sure, she knows who he is, he's visited plenty of times, but she doesn't know of their relationship. Hell, Juyeon doesn't even know if she knows he's bi. He hasn't been secretive of it, but he also didn't outright say it.

"Well," Fuck, what does he say? "Something happened between me and... someone."

"Who?"

"I shouldn't tell you."

His mom frowns, then takes a sip of her tea. "Why not?"

Juyeon sighs, annoyed by the questions but thankful he can talk about it briefly with someone. "You know them, and I don't want you to change the way you feel about them."

"Is it Youngjae? What happened? You didn't let him do something stupid, did you?'

He wants to laugh at how silly this is. "It's not Youngjae. Someone else. But it doesn't matter who. All that matters is I don't know how to face them anymore without feeling hurt and betrayed, but also happiness and love at the same time." A weight feels like it's been lifted off of his chest. The words are out, and he knows what he's saying is true.

His mother sighs, taking another sip of her tea. "Does it feel good to admit that?"

"Yeah."

She grins. "I'm glad I helped a little. In my opinion, you need to either tell them to suck it up so you two can still be close, or you need to exclude them from your life."

"It's not that easy, mom. He's close to all my friends. I can't just ask him to leave. And I cannot leave my friends."

"I know it's hard. Then go for the first option. He needs to learn to accept your opinions. I know you, and I know you aren't in the wrong. I also know that you will make the right choice. If Jaehyun can't accept that, then that's his issue."

Juyeon nods. That really, really helped. This should have been the first thing he did. And in a way, he tried, but he still found his way back to Jaehyun-

"Wait, how did you know that it was...?"

"Jaehyun?" His mother smirks, "Whenever he's over here, you're in awe. You follow him around like a puppy. I know how you feel about him."

"And dad?" He's breathing quickly, suddenly worried that anything he does is so blatantly obvious.

"He's oblivious like you are. He doesn't know because I want you to feel comfortable."

"Thank you."

The churn in his stomach has subsided, and he takes a sip of his tea. This is a good flavour.

She stands up to leave, but Juyeon asks her to stay. Her company is nice. All his friends are going around frolicking with their boyfriends, but Juyeon has his mother and she seems to be the only thing he really needs right this moment.

He curls his legs up to his chest, feeling the soft fabric of his hoodie wrap nicely around him.

The hoodie that Jaehyun had left on the very same couch the last time he was here.

Juyeon never even had the heart to wash it, just in case the detergent took away his scent.

-

Sunwoo sat in the first shopping cart, two boxes of Honey Combs sitting beside him as he waited for his friends to arrive. It was half past 9 and nobody was ever THIS late. Sunwoo was early for once! The first one here, alone in his shopping cart with his cereal (that Younghoon had requested dammit) and waiting for those dumbasses to come and entertain him.

There was a sudden screech from across the lot. So, Changmin was on his way. Changmin is always so excited for these get togethers, yet he and Chanhee missed the last one altogether! Probably to go kiss in the car or something gross that those kinds of couples do.

But the idea of skipping to hang out with Haknyeon was very, very intriguing.

His fantasies are interrupted as Hyungseo screams at Changmin and Chanhee to "stop dry-humping and get over here".

Hyungseo then appeared with Youngjae and Hyunjoon on either side. Hyungseo was in between them, and Sunwoo wanted to laugh at the particular placement. Seems like Hyungseo knows about their relationship.

"What's up, y'alls?" Hyungseo asks, sitting down in the second shopping cart. The third is usually reserved for Chanhee and Changmin, but the way they must be feeling tonight, it does not seem like a good idea to confine them in a small space together. Instead Hyunjoon gets inside, and Youngjae starts to slowly push him around.

Chanhee and Changmin show up, Changmin red in the face but strongly claiming that "despite what has been said, no humping of any kind was performed". After they arrived the rest started to pour in. Joonyoung joined Hyungseo in his cart, Younghoon went to talk to Chanhee and Changmin while Sangyeon rolled up and stood awkwardly nearby, as though something was bothering him. Sunwoo threw a Honey Comb at him.

"Lighten up, bitch!" He smirked. Sangyeon grinned and engaged in conversation with Joonyoung. Sunwoo handed one of the cereal boxes to Younghoon. "Your wish is my command. But I'm not your slave."

Younghoon laughs and hits his friend's shoulder. "Thanks. I love this shit."

"It used to be popular at the grocery store and then everyone stopped buying it. But it's getting popular again."

Younghoon's eyes widen. "That's because they changed the flavour! And it was so bad! I almost threw up the first time I had it. Thank god they changed it back because it was so damn nasty."

"Are you some sort of Honey Come Enthusiast?"

Younghoon snorts on his cereal. "Yes, bitch. That's me."

"Did a lot of people complain?" Sunwoo asks. 

"Yeah, Jesus Christ a lot. Like when Pledis fucked up with Seventeen's music videos, you know?"

"That makes perfect sense now." Sunwoo laughs. Younghoon goes back to talking to Chanhee and Changmin while Sunwoo looks around for Haknyeon. Still hasn't arrived. It's beginning to worry him, but not too much yet. In 5 minutes, he'll call him.

Juyeon walks up and Sunwoo gives his friend a wave.

"Sunwoo!" Hyungseo calls, "Where's your weekly complaint about work?"

Oh, here it goes. You cannot simply ask that question without getting an essay of an answer. "You best know it sucked ass!"

A cheer was heard from the crowd. Something this often had become almost like a celebration. If Sunwoo had an absolutely horrible day, they would boo. Bad, but not terrible? Little murmur. "Sucked ass" tended to mean it was decent but still a sucky job. That deserved a cheer. A good day? Someone leaves to buy him a cake.

Sangyeon laughs before asking, "Highlights?"

"A customer dropped a glass of pickles! Guess who had to clean it up?"

"You!" The simultaneous response made them all laugh.

"I swear to God, guys, the amount I earn isn't worth it at this point." Sunwoo admits. "Get me out of this Hell Hole."

"Shut up, Sunwoo, at least you don't work at a Forever 21. It's so bright in there, I've lost all sense of colour." Hyungseo replies. "I had to get glasses!"

"That was from all the k drama you'd watch on your phone in the middle of the night in the dark, babe," Joonyoung pats his shoulder, "But believe what you will."

"Don't expose me!"

"Too late, bitch!"

A collective gasp was heard.

"Hyungseo, you're just letting him curse at you like that?" Someone asks in astonishment as they enter the group. Haknyeon jogs towards Sunwoo's cart and joins him inside. Sunwoo's smile gets a little bit bigger when he sits down. He grabs hold of his boyfriend's hand, saying a small hello.

"Sunwoo's day just went 0 to 100 REAL QUICK!" Youngjae shouts from where he's pushing Hyunjoon around the lot. The group hoots at the two in the cart and Sunwoo could feel his ears turning redder than Hyungseo's new hair colour.

Suddenly there's hollering in the distance, getting louder as the source comes closer to the group. Jaehyun is running with a box that probably has something stupid inside-

"Lee Jaehyun there is no way in hell you are lighting fireworks here!" Sangyeon shouts, reaching for the box Jaehyun his clutching to his chest.

"Sangyeon, don't ruin my fun! 1. These are SPARKLERS. They're save and just for the aesthetic. 2. If I had fireworks, you wouldn't be invited because you would end the party." Jaehyun sneers at his older friend and Sangyeon helps him open the box.

"I want Jaehyun as my new dad!" Youngjae calls, "Sorry Sangyeon!"

"No offence taken, I'm just keeping you dumbasses alive, that's all."

"Sunwoo," Jaehyun calls, "Where's your lighter?"

Sunwoo takes the small lighter out of his pocket and tosses it to Jaehyun.

"Why do you have a lighter?" Haknyeon asks, "You don't smoke do you?"

Sunwoo scoffs. "Ew. No. It's a good luck charm, thing, I guess. I've had it whenever good things have happened, and was void of it when bad things did."

Haknyeon nudges his shoulder. "Did you have it when...?"

Sunwoo's ears turn even darker. "When I confessed? Yes, I did. I did not have it when I chose to run away from your home."

Haknyeon laughs, roping his arm through Sunwoo's as they watch Jaehyun light the sparklers. He hands them out, and Sunwoo notices the odd exchange between him and Juyeon. What the hell is going on with them? Didn't Juyeon end it?

He gives one to each Sunwoo and Haknyeon, and the light it emits over Haknyeon's face makes Sunwoo want to touch his golden tinted skin. 

The sparklers spit sparks off as the pair watched their friends dance around, take pictures or sword fight with them. Sunwoo was really feeling the environment until he suddenly felt something press against his cheek.

Haknyeon was k i s s i n g h i m.

His heart must have stopped because he was frozen. Haknyeon was grinning at him after he had moved back.

Then he suddenly jumped and began swatting himself.

Sunwoo had dropped his sparkler on him.

"Oh-Shit-I'm so sorry!" He apologizes rapidly, hitting his stomach where the stick had landed on him. It was out now, but Sunwoo was still worried there were sparks.

Haknyeon was laughing his ass off, pushing Sunwoo off of him as his boyfriend tried to help. "It's fine!" He assured, "You can't even get burnt off these! Don't worry!" He takes Sunwoo by the hands and slows down his laughing. "It's okay!"

"Bitch how is this okay I set you on fire!"

"I was never burning oh my god- Sunwoo!" Haknyeon grabs his attention. "It's okay."

There's a silence as everybody watches Sunwoo calm down, letting his hands relax in Haknyeon's.

"Y'all have some kind of whack relationship," Hyunjoon says to break the tension, "It's cute though."

Sunwoo laughed with his friends but the tingling feeling on his cheek still lingered as he and Haknyeon engaged in the normal conversation.

-

"Yo, did you see the way Jaehyun was looking at Juyeon tonight?" Chanhee asked as he and Changmin entered their apartment. They were returning home late after hanging out with their friends, and Chanhee had a few things he wanted to bring up about what he had noticed during the 12 boys' time together.

"No?" Changmin answers, sliding his shoes off and putting on his slippers. "But I wouldn't be surprised if there was something going on between them. What's new?" He heads to the bathroom to start washing up, but still listens to what Chanhee is saying.

"But," Chanhee sighs, entering the kitchen and taking out the carton of milk. "It was different. Usual he's eye fucking him from a few feet away and Juyeon is all blushy and gross but he looked... sad, you know?" He takes a large sip of the milk.

"So, Jaehyun was feeling a basic human emotion?" 

"It's weird, okay?"

Changmin chuckles from the bathroom. "The group is sort of off balanced right now, I'll say that."

"Right?" Chanhee exclaims, "It's so strange! Jaehyun and Juyeon are back on their weird emotions, Younghoon and Sangyeon are steering as clear of each other as they can-"

"Has he said anything about that to you, by the way?" Changmin asks.

"Younghoon? Nothing. You?"

"Me either. Continue."

"Youngjae and Hyunjoon are suddenly besties? When did that happen? Why weren't we aware? Isn't Hyunjoon your adopted son?"

"It's more like a babysitter gig. But I agree, it's weird how they suddenly... started randomly becoming inseparable?" Changmin begins to brush his teeth and leaves the bathroom. He takes the deteriorating milk away from his boyfriend before he finishes it and puts it back in the fridge. 

"At least Hyungseo and Joonyoung are remotely normal. And Sunwoo and Haknyeon are cute but I'm still not used to it, despite all of us knowing it was going to happen eventually." Chanhee keeps talking after boosting himself onto the counter. Changmin nods in agreement. "We're normal, right?"

Changmin ponders for a moment before shrugging and making an unintelligible noise. 

"This seems normal." Chanhee confirms before jumping off the counter and beginning to wash up himself. There's a weird silence where they go over the events of the night and try to connect it back to prior events. 

Changmin suddenly gasps. Then immediately chokes on the toothpaste in his mouth, which he had sucked into the his throat. Chanhee burst into laughter as he watched Changmin continuously spit into the bathroom sink trying to get the minty hell out of his throat. He's chugging some water while holding one finger up at Chanhee since he has something to say. When he's finished, he gasps for air before speaking.

"The party!"

"What about it?" Chanhee asks in between fits of laughter. 

"Stuff always goes down at those parties. Do you remember anything from it?"

"Changmin, I don't think you remember how high I was."

"Right, dumb question," Changmin laughs as he washes his face, "I remember more than you do, I think. Didn't Younghoon say Jaehyun was making a move on someone that night? Do you think it was Juyeon or someone else?"

Chanhee thought it over. "Juyeon was kind of quiet tonight. He could have been jealous?"

"Sounds accurate."

"Or he was just avoiding Jaehyun after some drunk mistake."

"Now that sounds like their relationship." Changmin backs up from the bathroom counter so Chanhee can wash his face. "Juyeon doesn't strike me as the jealous type. Even if I give Haknyeon a solo section instead of him in the choreography. He just helps Haknyeon or gives me tips on it! He isn't selfish."

The pair move into their bedroom and change before getting into bed. Changmin is extremely tired and would very much like to sleep, but he feels like this conversation won't be brought up again for a while, and he's genuinely worried about his friends are their weird... drama?

"I hope Younghoon comes to one of us," Changmin says, "He needs someone to talk to about this if it's really getting to him. He shouldn't bear it alone."

"I agree," Chanhee responds as he gets into bed, grabbing his phone on the way from his pants' pocket that he had thrown carelessly on to the floor. Changmin will probably give him shit for it tomorrow, but there are bigger matters at hand. "Should I text him?"

"No, not yet. Maybe at work?" Changmin responds, joining his boyfriend in bed. "Face to face means he can't lie as well as he can over text. He also has to respond if you corner him. I mean- Don't corner him but-"

"I get what you mean." Chanhee chuckles. He opens his phone to see a message from Hyungseo. "I guess Joonyoung and Hyungseo noticed some tension too. Hyungseo asked if we knew anything about Jaehyun and Juyeon."

Changmin sighs, wrapping his arms around Chanhee and resting his head on his shoulder. "Well, except for the "making a move thing" we don't have much. Ask about Younghoon and Sangyeon."

Chanhee sends the text and they wait for a bit until Hyungseo responds. 

"Joonyoung saw them drinking together. Sangyeon has also said they have really complicated feelings. Something massive went down between them but Joonyoung hasn't been able to get the details out of Sangyeon yet. But he said Sangyeon said he really messed up." Chanhee reads the message aloud. "Did Younghoon get rejected, do you think?"

"Are we sure he had feelings for Sangyeon?'

"Oh yeah." Chanhee confirms. "He came to visit me during my shift one day and just the way he talked about him was so whipped."

"Then... he got turned down?"

"Must have."

"Ask them about Youngjae and Hyunjoon."

Chanhee sends the message and they wait. 

And wait.

And w a i t.

"This is pointless. They probably know something but don't want to tell us." Changmin sighs. "Let's just go to sleep, I'm so tired."

Chanhee shrugs and puts his phone down right when Hyungseo texts back. "They say "Not sure"." Chanhee reads aloud. He sends a "thanks anyway" before plugging his phone in and setting it back down. He pulls Changmin close to him and rests his eyes. Now that Changmin mentioned the concept of tiredness, he's really feeling it. "This whole friendship tension is kind of frustrating. Were we ever like that when it was only the few of us?"

Originally, only 5 of them worked in that mall complex that were friends. Hyungseo knew Changmin and Joonyoung from school, while Chanhee was the weird kid from another school with Jaehyun. Those two had eventually brought Juyeon, Sunwoo, Hyunjoon and Youngjae along, while Sangyeon had showed up. Changmin met an underclassman named Haknyeon, brought him in and then Younghoon showed up. Back in the day, everything was calm and seemed to be easy. Chanhee doesn't remember a single falling out.

"I mean," Changmin begins, "You didn't talk to Hyungseo for a week after he spilled the beans about you liking me."

"Yeah but I'm thankful for that now."

"I guess."

Chanhee kisses Changmin on the forehead as he pulls his boyfriend close to his chest. 

"I'm tired of this mess." He admits. Changmin nods.

"Me too."

"I wish we could help."

"We're trying, but no one lets us in."

"You're right."

Strange silence follows.

Chanhee runs his hands through Changmin's hair, keeping him close so he doesn't lose him. When stuff like this happens, he feels anxious. He and Changmin never have quarrels like this. Does that mean it's coming? Will they have a fight so bad they... split up?

"I love you." Changmin says suddenly. It surprises Chanhee. Why would he say that randomly?

"I love you too." He replies.

"Don't worry about us."

"Were you reading my mind?"

"You stroke my head when you're nervous, and your heart started beating fast." Changmin says from his current place on Chanhee's chest.

Chanhee laughs. hugging Changmin closer to him. "I'm not worried about us at all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back after a whole other month? what's new.


	11. when haknyeon is clingy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jaehyun gets some help from his friends about his Messed Up situation and haknyeon calls sunwoo from school bc he's lonely and misses his boo

"I need! Help!"

Sangyeon, Changmin and Joonyoung turn around to see Jaehyun with pure despair displayed across his face.

"What did you do now?" Changmin asks, pulling another chair up to their table in Younghoon's Starbucks (he wasn't in today, or else Sangyeon wouldn't be in here). 

"I have f e e l i n g s!" He exclaims, receiving multiple dirty stares from people in the coffee shop. He sat down with the group and sighed way too loudly. "Feelings are not fun, my dudes."

"The fact that you jest said "my dudes" makes me want to vomit." Joonyoung remarks. Jaehyun sticks his tongue out at him as he rests his head on his propped hands with a pout.

"That isn't new, you have feelings every three days. Why are these special?" Sangyeon asks.

"These are big bad feelings!"

"We're gonna need you to elaborate." Joonyoung says, shaking his head, "Is this about Juyeon?"

Jaehyun's face turns white. "How did you know?"

Sangyeon rolls his eyes. "We aren't stupid," He says, "What happened with him?"

"Wait!" Changmin pipes up, "I remember that Younghoon said that you were trying to make a move on someone at your party... was it him? Juyeon?"

Jaehyun runs his hands through his hair, visibly more upset than when he arrived. "That was a rumour one of my university friends started... but Juyeon and I did.. some stuff." 

"What kind of stuff?" Joonyoung asks, "Like sexy stuff?"

"NO! Well..."

"Jaehyun! I thought you guys broke up!" Changmin says in Utter Disappointment. "This makes sense now... Juyeon has been really distracted during rehearsals lately."

"We didn't hook up!" Jaehyun says in defense, "Just some... kissy stuff..."

"Y'all are disappointing." Sangyeon says.

"I"m sorry! I don't think you understand what kind of predicament I'm in right now!"

Changmin watches Sangyeon shift uncomfortably in his seat. "You'd be surprised," Sangyeon mutters. Weird, Changmin thinks. What's up with him and Younghoon?

"So, what has Juyeon said about it?" Joonyoung asks. 

"Well, I'm not completely sure he remembers what happened..." Jaehyun admits.

"We've reached peak dumbass level. He was drunk?" Changmin asks. Jaehyun responded with a shy nod. 

Changmin watches as his friends simultaneously hit him. 

"Well," Changmin sighs, "What the hell are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know! That's why I'm here! You bitches need to help me!" Jaehyun slaps hands to his face and groans. "I miss him so much."

"You've messed up with him too many times," Joonyoung says, "Do you think he'll take you back again?"

"That's the other thing," Jaehyun mumbles through his fingers that are covering his face, "I don't want to hurt him again."

"Why did you break up with him before?" Joonyoung asks. 

They all turn to Jaehyun, awaiting him to tell the reason. It takes a few moments until he takes a deep breath and says, "I'm too scared." But this confuses all 3 of them.

"Scared?" Sangyeon asks. "Of what?"

"Of everything. Before, I was too scared of my feelings. Because I was taught for so long that loving Juyeon was wrong. Because I was brought up in my family to never keep secrets and that whatever my parents said was right, and that I had to agree with it." His voice falters for a second before he continues. "And I'm too scared to defy them."

His friends are silent, because what the hell are you supposed to say after that?

"Jaehyun," Sangyeon says, "You're an adult. Your parents don't own you anymore."

"I know but... I have nowhere to go right now. And I can't imagine what my family will do to me."

"You can stay with me!" Sangyeon offers at the same time Joonyoung and Changmin say "You can stay with us!"

Jaehyun smiles widely. "You guys don't have to do that,"

"We want to, bitch. Accept the damn offer." Joonyoung says.

"And," Changmin pipes in, "Try one more time with Juyeon. But make it count."

-

Haknyeon straight up walked out his homeroom class. He was not up for being there that morning, so he grabbed his back and just... left. He had gotten there early because his mother had woken him up earlier than normal, so out of habit he left the house quickly. But he was bored already and didn't feel like sitting in a class. 

In the hall he bumped into Changbin who asked where he was going, since class was about to start.

"Not really f e e l i n g class today. I'll show up eventually."

"Do you want me to come?"

"Class president can't be absent, now can he?"

"You're going to find Sunwoo, aren't you?" Changbin smirks as Haknyeon continues to walk by. 

"I can't really run across town and be back for second period..." He laughs. He waves goodbye to his friend as Changbin enters their classroom.

Haknyeon grins as he finds the empty classroom near the freshmen rooms. He pulls out his phone and taps Sunwoo's name. It rings. 

The school bell rings, and Haknyeon hopes Sunwoo has noticed the call before he was stuck in class. Haknyeon wished they went to the same school, but they were graduating soon so it wasn't smart to transfer at this point.

"Hey," Sunwoo's voice fills his ears, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Haknyeon smiles, happy to hear his boyfriend's voice, "I just miss you. Are you in class right now?"

"I am, but my teacher isn't here yet. I might have to run when he shows up."

"That's fine. I just wanted to talk to you. It's been a while since I saw you."

He can hear Sunwoo sigh over the receiver. "Yeah. I wish you didn't have to rehearse so often."

"Me too. But the showcase is getting closer and closer, so Changmin is adding rehearsals wherever he can. I can't blame him, though."

"Right."

"How are you doing?"

"I'm okay," Sunwoo says. Haknyeon can hear him hissing at someone to shut up. "How are you? Why aren't you in class?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"You can't risk being late to class just because you wanted to talk to me." Sunwoo says with a chuckle. "But I am glad you did."

Haknyeon laughs. "Who were you scolding earlier?"

"What?"

"I heard you talking to someone."

"Oh! Just Jisung, he's being annoying."

"Jisung?"

"Have I not talked about him?"

"No," Haknyeon says. He tends to know what goes on at Sunwoo's school because Sunwoo talks about it a l o t. He talks about Hyunjoon and Youngjae (being annoying or grossly romantic while trying to "hide" it), his class, lunch or just about anything he can. He claims it's a lame excuse to talk to Haknyeon more, but Haknyeon knows that some of these things are bugging Sunwoo more than they should. Haknyeon wishes they would just graduate already.

Jisung doesn't ring a bell to him.

"He's my closest friend in my class, since Hyunjoon, Youngjae and I all got separated when the year started. He's currently got a smug ass look on his face because I'm talking about him instead of hitting him. He likes to tease me... about you."

"I also know Changbin! You two are friends, right?" An unfamiliar voice asks through the receiver.

"Yeah, we are." Haknyeon chuckles as Sunwoo scolds Jisung again.

"That's it, I'm leaving." Sunwoo states. Haknyeon hears him stand up and walk out of the classroom.

"Won't you be late?" Haknyeon asks.

"I don't really care. As long as I can talk to you." Sunwoo says. 

Haknyeon grins, but no one can see it. Because he's alone in an old freshmen classroom, when all he wants is to hold Sunwoo's damn hand.

"I miss you." He says with a sigh.

"I know. I miss you too."

"Will you come to the showcase?"

"Of course!"

Haknyeon smiles wider, hugging his left arm around his body. "Thank you."

"Isn't the whole gang going?"

"I don't think so..." Haknyeon runs over the details in his head before speaking more, "I think Jaehyun is busy. Joonyoung and Hyungseo will be there, and Hyungseo mentioned a banner of some sort."

Sunwoo snorts.

"I don't think Sangyeon and Younghoon will be there either. Sangyeon has a family thing and Younghoon... I don't think he even knows about it."

"I will take the time to inform him." 

"Thanks."

"But honestly, do you want everyone there?"

Haknyeon tuts his tongue a few times before answering. "I don't know. It feels like a lot of pressure, but then again you guys would cheer for us even if we did a Horrible Performance."

"True. To be honest I don't know if you guys are even good or not. You could be terrible for all I know."

Haknyeon laughs. "You saw me dancing. Am I bad?"

He grins when he hears Sunwoo's breath hitch a bit before answering. "You are amazing."

"No need to exaggerate."

"Would I?"

"Definitely."

"Fuck you."

"You love me." Haknyeon says it but doesn't think about the weight it carries. He doesn't expect Sunwoo to respond to it, and is almost relieved when his boyfriend starts to talk about something else.

"Can we go get ice cream?" He asks.

"Now?" Haknyeon questions in disbelief. It's just after 8 in the morning, but whatever floats hit boat...

"No, like after the showcase," Sunwoo laughs, "I miss our little ice cream dates."

"Me too."

"Then we shall?"

"We shall."

Suddenly the classroom door opened and someone walked in. "What are they doing in here?" They asked Haknyeon. It was one of the freshmen teachers. "Why aren't you in class?"

Haknyeon cursed under his breath. "Sorry gotta go love you bye," He hung up the phone and stood straight up to face the teacher.

"The bell has not rung yet, Ma'am," He says in defense.

The teacher sighed and pointed to the door. "Get to class. And don't you dare bring that phone out again. I'll catch your girlfriend too."

Haknyeon bowed before running out of the classroom, laughing to himself. What girlfriend?

Gross.

He was sat in his desk just as the bell rang. Changbin gave him a look and grinned. Their teacher entered the class.

Haknyeon thought about what he had said to Sunwoo.

"Sorry gotta go..."

"Love you."

Haknyeon said he loved him.

What the hell could Sunwoo be thinking about right now?


	12. when hyungseo is a good friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> younghoon is sad and hyungseo is a good friend  
> youngjae and hyunjoon study together

His butt is wet. His feet hurt. His head was preoccupied with a piercing headache to think properly. 

Where the hell is this bus? Hyungseo's been waiting for too long hiding from the pouring rain and he just wants to lie in bed with Joonyoung and drink tea or coffee or milk or whatever. He wants to watch TV or a movie and fall asleep in Joonyoung's arms because he loves him and hates customers and school and-

"Hyungseo," Someone waves his hand in front of his face. "Are you all right?" Younghoon is standing above him with an umbrella despite being under the cover of the bus stop. His eyes are droopy and his hair is a bit of a mess. He looks in about the same state as himself.

"Yeah," He replies, not wanting to bother Younghoon. He doesn't know all the facts but word is among the Boyz (the dumb name Youngjae renamed the group chat) is that there's real shit going on between him and Sangyeon. He didn't want to make him worry. "What about you? You look really out of it."

Younghoon sits down beside him, umbrella still in his hand. "Yeah. Long day. Lot on my mind."

Hyungseo nudges him with his shoulder. "Need to talk about it?"

"Who are you, my mom?" He asks with a laugh.

"Only if everything goes as planned with your dad..."

"Oh my god, dude," Younghoon laughs, "Gross."

"Yeah," Hyungseo stands up and motions his friend up as well. "Come on. There's a convenience store right around the corner." 

"Won't the bus come soon?" He asks, following Hyungseo, who just shrugs in reply.

"Whatever. We can just catch the next one."

"But it'll be the last one coming through here,"

Hyungseo stops. "Well," He checks the time on his phone. "We have 10 minutes until it's scheduled to come. We have time to get a snack."

So the pair walk down the street in the rain (with an umbrella, now, because Younghoon is far more prepared than Hyungseo) and walk into the convenience store. After greeting the worker behind the counter, Hyungseo points to the bench and counter.

"Sit."

"What?" Younghoon asks.

"Go and sit. I'll be back with snacks." He shoves Younghoon in that direction until he eventually goes to wait. Hyungseo moves quickly and fills his hands with bread, strawberry milk and banana milk. He can't remember if Younghoon has a preference, okay? He's sort of short on cash right now and doesn't have his card with him, so this is the best he can do right now. 

And just his luck, he's short. The clerk rings him up and he's a few dollars shy.

Hyungseo sighs, not wanting to cause a scene. "Could you," He pauses and tries to look as vulnerable as he can without it being cringey and weird, "could you let it slide? I promise to come back tomorrow with the rest of the money."

The clerk just glares at him. "Just put some bread back."

"Please," He leans forward a bit and lowers his voice. Pointing to Younghoon who's looking out the glass, he says, "My friend there really needs someone to be there for him, and it's just one loaf."

The man sighs before taking what money Hyungseo has and bagging the snacks. "Forget paying me back. I have the change lying around in my pockets."

"Thank you!" He skips over to Younghoon and shoves the bag in his face. "Let's get back to the bus stop." Younghoon smiles and takes the bag from his younger friend and follows him out of the convenience store, thanking the man one last time.

Hyungseo decides to speak up when they're almost back at the stop. "So, spill. What's up with you lately?"

"What do you mean?"

He sighs, taking a sip of his hard earned banana milk. "You know what I mean. You're always down in the dumps. I don't like seeing you that way."

Younghoon chuckles to himself and looks around. Hyungseo notices him trying to avoid eye contact. "I'm fine," He says.

"Bull. Shit. I don't want to ask but I'm going to if you keep being stubborn."

"Ask what?"

"Is this about what happened with Sangyeon?"

Younghoon stops. Hyungseo has got him.

"And what would you know about me and Sangyeon?" He asks, awkwardly picking up his pace again.

Hyungseo sighs. "Enough to know it's the reason you're hurting like this."

The pair stop at the bus stop and Younghoon meets Hyungseo's eyes. "Look. I'm tired of talking about Sangyeon. It's like I'm not my own person! Like-Like I can't exist if I'm not in love with Sangyeon!"

"I didn't mean it like that," Hyungseo tries to say.

"I know you didn't! But it doesn't seem to matter! I can't hang out with any of you without hearing his fucking name! The name of the asshole who made me feel happy and then suddenly seemed to change his mind! The asshole who wasn't careful about," He pauses for breath and runs his hands through his hair, "about hurting me."

Hyungseo takes a deep breath before placing a hand on Younghoon's shoulder. Despite his anger, he doesn't shrug it away. "You can talk to me, you know. You can talk to any of the guys, and they'll be happy to try and help. You aren't alone in this."

Younghoon scoffs. "You don't think I know that?"

"You haven't seemed too keen on acting on it. We ask each other, "yo, do you know if Younghoon is okay?" And no one can answer! Because none of us have been able to get you to talk about it." Hyungseo elbows him in the side. "We don't bite."

Younghoon takes a deep breath. 

Then, blowing out the air, he looks out into the street and starts talking. 

"I didn't want to fall for him. He was different from anyone else I've been in a relationship with. I felt really strange."

"How was he different?"

"He was a boy."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"But how did he hurt you?" Hyungseo hopes he isn't prying too much. But Younghoon really needs to open up about this.

"Well, we had a bit of a one night stand. After the party. Or, I didn't think it was going to end up that way, but as soon as he woke up he left."

Hyungseo is... confused. And rightfully so. Since when were they on that level that they would hook up so suddenly?

"Do you know why he would have left?"

"We were super drunk... he didn't even remember what had happened."

"Jesus," Hyungseo leans back on the bus stop seat, "I'm really sorry, dude. Why would he react like that?"

"It's not even over. I confronted him, and he said pretty easily that he regretted it. And that he doesn't want to even try having a relationship with me."

Hyungseo sees the bus coming down the street towards them. He stands up and pulls Younghoon up with him. "So what you're saying is, I need to beat up Sangyeon?"

"What- No!"

"Are you sure?"

"No."

"Exactly."

"Don't hurt him."

"We'll see~" He says as they get on the bus.

Younghoon lets out a breath as they sit down side by side in the fourth row. Despite not wanting to talk to Hyungseo about it, after it was pulled out of him he felt better. Like the weight on his shoulders was gone. 

It felt freeing.

-

The letters on the book stared back at him as he pierced his eyes through it.

"I'm going to scream." Youngjae announced to no one. The classroom was empty and most of his class had gone home, aside from his classmate in the back corner with headphones on and is asleep. He has been forcing himself to study at school recently and not at home because he tends to get distracted. So he's shoved his phone into the bottom of his bag and is trying to finish his homework for the night.

But for some reason, tonight is going very slowly. Answers aren't coming and new information isn't sticking.

"This sucks," He mutters before closing his book and looking around the classroom. His desk was just so slightly out of line with the others. The chalkboard was clear but it was still dusty. Outside, the branches on a tree blew in the wind. It was cloudy.

"What are you doing?" Someone asks from the doorway. He turns his head and sees Hyunjoon standing there, bag slung over his shoulder as it had been when he left an hour ago.

"Dying. What are you doing back?"

"I never left."

"What?" 

Hyunjoon goes over and sits in the desk beside Youngjae. "I was practicing in the gym. I knew you wouldn't last too long so I figured I might as well go home with you."

Youngjae leaned over to kiss Hyunjoon on the cheek, but he moves his head away quickly. 

"Not here," He mutters.

"Why not? Hyunjin is asleep,"

"What if someone walks in?"

Youngjae sighs before leaning back in his seat. "Yeah, okay. Sorry." It's been a few weeks since their relationship began and Youngjae still feels like it's so awkward between them. Hanging out together is easier now because instead of being at each other's throats like they would have been about a month ago, they instead are as close as they are with any of the rest of their friends. But it doesn't really feel like a romantic relationship, if that makes any sense. Unless they're in the safety of his or Youngjae's bedroom, there isn't anything. Even so, the contact is limited. And while Youngjae loves the cuddling and small kisses, it doesn't feel like Hyunjoon is.

"You don't have to apologize." Hyunjoon says quietly before taking his notebook out of his duffel bag. Hyunjoon didn't have a backpack, and that always made Youngjae a tad uncomfortable. How can he keep everything in an open bag? The paper could crinkle, or he could lose pens so easily if they fell out of his pencil case. Who does this?

"Have you ever even held a backpack?" He asks, poking the duffel bag, which was now on the floor, with his foot.

"Of course," Hyunjoon chuckles, opening his textbook and starting a new notes section in his notebook, "I only recently started using this one because I can keep shoes and practice clothes in their as well as my school things."

"It doesn't hurt your shoulder?"

"No?"

"Damn." Youngjae sighs again, hoping his mood is noticeable enough for Hyunjoon to ask.

He doesn't. He continues to study.

"Hyunjoon," He pokes his boyfriend in the shoulder. 

"Mm?" He responds without looking up.

"Why are we dating?"

Now that got his attention.

"What?" He turns his head and puts his pen down, "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Youngjae straightens himself out in his chair and looks Hyunjoon straight in the eyes, "Why do you want to be with me?"

"That's a stupid question,"

"You can't answer it?"

"Can you?"

"Of course."

The pair stare at each other in silence for a while until Hyunjoon scoffs and turns his focus back to his studies.

"You really can't answer it?"

"Youngjae, I'm not in the mood for this," He mutters, resting his chin on his hand, writing note after note down.

"What's so hard about a simple question?" Youngjae knows the pestering will get to him eventually. He hates annoying him like this but to get the answers he needs he's going to have to make this small sacrifice.

"Why are you questioning me like this?" Hyunjoon slams his pen on the desk and turns back to Youngjae.

"Because it seems like you don't even want to be in this relationship!"

It was out there.

Hyunjoon is speechless. He opens his mouth to speak but just gasps of air come out instead.

When he finally does say something, it's, "Are you fucking serious?"

"Kind of?"

"What the hell does "kind of" mean, Youngjae? Do you really think I'd want to break up?" Hyunjoon is so visibly offended, Youngjae becomes nervous.

"It's just," He shifts in his seat. He feels guilty now. But, he knows he deserves it. A little bit. Probably a lot bit. "Whenever we're together, you don't seem as enthusiastic as I do. You never want to kiss, or go out together..."

Hyunjoon runs a hand through his hair and then kicks Youngjae in the shin.

"Ow! What the heck, man?" Youngjae shouts. He rubs his leg and turns behind him to see if Hyunjin has woken up. But lo and behold, the kid is still asleep.

Taking Youngjae's leg and placing it on his own lap, Hyunjoon holds it. "It's not that hurt. Calm down."

"I'm sorry, I know it was a stupid question, and I was being so annoying, but you didn't have to kick me!"

"No, I'm sorry." Hyunjoon takes a deep breath before grabbing Youngjae's hand. He places their hands on Youngjae's leg. "You know," He begins, looking at their hands, "I've never been in a relationship. You're the first person I've ever even liked before. I'm not used to this kind of affection. I'm not used to this form of... love." His ears turn red.

Youngjae smiles. Hearing Hyunjoon talk like this allows him to relax and just listen. No worrying. Just understanding.

And they said high school relationships aren't more than foolish feelings!

"I get it." He replies.

"I'm sorry I'm not too comfortable with skinship yet," He says sheepishly, "I'm working on it."

"Take your time. I'm sorry for assuming the wrong thing." Youngjae squeezes Hyunjoon's hand. "We're a good team, though."

"Yeah. We are." Hyunjoon agrees, smiling so wide his eyes wrinkle at the corners. Youngjae wants to kiss them. Youngjae wants to kiss him.

So he does. He grabs Hyunjoon's face and pulls it towards him. He keeps them a few inches apart. "Do you give me your consent?"

"Pffft what?"

"Consent is important, Hyunjoon."

He laughs. "Sure."

Youngjae kisses him softly. It's a bit difficult still, because they can't help but smile.

"Yooo," Someone says from behind them. The pair breaks apart and looks wide-eyed at Hyunjin, who is now miraculously awake. "When did this happen?" He asks, pointing between them.

"What-What are you talking about?" Hyunjoon asks about as casual as he can (meaning he looks like a deer about to be run over by a semi-truck).

"Weren't you too.. you know..." He mimics a kissing motion and Youngjae tries not to burst into a fit of laughter. This guy is a riot.

"I don't know what you're talking about, dude." He responds. "Didn't you just wake up? You're probably just tired."

Hyunjin stands up and throws his bag over his shoulder. "Yeah, okay guys. Goodnight." He leaves the classroom.

Youngjae and Hyunjoon look at each other.

"That totally didn't work." Hyunjoon says. "What if he spreads a rumour or something?"

"Who cares? We're graduating soon anyway. Besides, he won't. Hyunjin doesn't care enough."

"I guess you're right." Hyunjoon shifts his chair closer to Youngjae's, who thinks his action romantic, until he points to his study material. "Are you lost with this?"

He sighs, before nodding. "Help me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry it's taking me so long to write  
> ahhhh. i'll get better. i hope. this was a hard chapter to finish.


	13. when those boys danced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the showcase

"Where the FUCK is Youngjae?" Hyunjoon shouts in the dressing room. "He has my phone!"

"What do you need your phone for?" Haknyeon asks while checking his hair in the mirror.

"My mom was gonna call me! I can't have Youngjae answering my phone!" Hyunjoon pops his head out the door before coming back inside, obviously not finding Youngjae out there. "Especially if it's my mom!"

"Something tells me there's more to that..." Juyeon mutters to himself. 

Hyunjoon gives him a perplexed look. "I don't have time for your philosophical bullshit. Can someone please call mine or Youngjae's phone?"

"Already on it." Changmin answers with his cell to his ear. Hyunjoon watches as it rings, and rings.

And rings.

"Jesus Christ, Youngjae pick up!" He groans. He then lets himself fall backwards onto his ass and takes a deep breath.

"Buddy, you need to calm down." Haknyeon sits across from him. "Why are you so flustered? You're never this... crazy." Hyunjoon can tell he didn't mean it in t h a t way but he still gave him a glare.

"Am I not allowed to be nervous?" He asks.

"I mean," Juyeon leans back in his chair so he can look at them, "We've practiced as much as we can. I think we're pretty darn spectacular."

"Darn?" Changmin asks, calling Youngjae again. 

"Yes, darn! This is a Christian troupe and we don't fucking curse!"

Hyunjoon laughed. He actually laughed. 

He hasn't laughed since last week. This showcase has been stressing him out like crazy. Thank goodness for Juyeon and his dumbass jokes. Hyunjoon might have gone insane.

"So," He slows his laughter to talk about something that would distract him from Youngjae's absence and worrying about his own performance, "Who's our main competition?"

Changmin sits down to the right of Hyunjoon and the left of Haknyeon. Still trying to call Youngjae. "Well, I'm keeping my eye the most on Kwon Soonyoung's team and Jung Yunho's team. Maybe Park Jinwoo's as well. We don't know if they have a secret weapon or not."

"What's so good about Soonyoung and Yunho's teams?" Juyeon asks.

"Soonyoung's team has experience. They've been together for years."

"So have we!" Hyunjoon speaks up this time.

"No," Changmin shakes his head, "They've all been close since middle school. And when they got that Lee Chan guy?" 

Hyunjoon does have to admit that Lee Chan is an absolute beast.

"And Jung Yunho?" Haknyeon asks, "Isn't he that super tall guy in the youtube videos?"

"Yeah. Their team is really professional looking. Some of their members are super tall and big and pretty terrifying. The others who aren't as tall make up for their height in power." 

The door bursts open and there is a rather frazzled looking Youngjae.

Hyunjoon's nerves fall and he jumps up to greet his boyfriend. He wants to hug the messy dumbass but his friends are right behind them and he'd rather not out their relationship. So he settles for the more subtle approach.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"I'm sorry," Youngjae replies, handing Hyunjoon his phone, "I was lost and your mom called and-"

"Did you speak to my mom?"

"Why wouldn't I? That'd be so rude." 

Hyunjoon hears Juyeon laugh behind him. He grins stupidly at his boyfriend's antics. 

"Oh yeah," Youngjae remembers, "They wouldn't let us bring food in here so Sunwoo is out there with snacks-"

Haknyeon is the first one to dash out the door (unsurprisingly). The other two follow but Hyunjoon stays back, knowing there's a reason Youngjae had suddenly pushed them out like that.

"Is there really snacks?" He asks, grabbing Youngjae's arm and pulling him closer.

"There is, but I'm glad they actually took the bait." He answers and wraps him in a hug and rubs his back. "How are you doing? Worried?"

"I've never been more nervous in my life." He admits, clinging to him. 

"Why?"

"What do you mean, why?"

"I mean," Youngjae squeezes Hyunjoon's sides with his arms, making the latter squeak. Youngjae's heart skips a beat. He is too cute. "I mean you shouldn't be worried. Because your team is incredible, but more importantly," He hugs him tighter, "You are incredible."

"You're so cheesy." Hyunjoon groans. They waddle around, arms wrapped tightly around each other. Since their talk a few days prior, Hyunjoon is letting himself be more comfortable around Youngjae, despite being nervous to let it happen. But he couldn't be more happy with that decision. Being so close to Youngjae is comforting. And he definitely needs it right now.

"When do you guys go on?" Youngjae asks, pulling his head back from Hyunjoon's shoulder so they can talk face to face. 

Hyunjoon looks at the time on his phone. "15 minutes." He follows the words with a sigh.

"Please don't be like this... I know you've been preparing for ages. You can't do any worse than perfect." 

Youngjae's words calm him down a bit. They have indeed been rehearsing for a long time. They will do well.

They will.

They stand together for a little while longer until Hyunjoon forces himself to let go of Youngjae, because if he doesn't do it now he doesn't think he ever will. 

And at the perfect time too. Right after they step away Changmin and Haknyeon come back into the dressing room. 

"We have to go. The group before us is going on soon." Changmin tells Hyunjoon. He nods, giving Youngjae a look before beginning to follow them out. He can feel his breathing speed up as he walks down the hall away from the dressing room. Youngjae's words are replaying in his head. He can do this. Of course he can. He's been practicing for months. In the studio, in the gym after school, in his bedroom, backyard, living room, Youngjae's living room, etc.

His phone buzzes in his pocket.

"Shit," He turns to run back.

"Where are you going?" Changmin calls after him.

"I'll be back!" 

Bursting into the dressing room he almost hits Youngjae with the door.

"Woah-" Youngjae backs up, "What's the rush? I was just going to find my seat."

Hyunjoon hands him his phone. "I can't take it with me on stage. Can you keep it?"

"Yeah, but... What was the point of me sprinting back to give it to you just to have it again?"

"Well, I wanted to see you before I went on stage, too." Hyunjoon smiles. 

"You need to go, dumbass!" Youngjae points at the door. 

"Fine." Hyunjoon pulls him close to kiss him before he leaves. He's surprised but grins against the kiss.

Then the door opens.

They jump apart to see Sunwoo standing in the doorway, not looking too shocked.

"You're late," He pulls Hyunjoon out of the room and pushes him forward. Hyunjoon laughs before running back down the hall and towards his team backstage. From where they are now they can see the dancers. He doesn't worry about what Sunwoo might have seen. It doesn't matter right now. 

"Where have you been?" Juyeon asks, "The other team is already on!"

Hyunjoon looks on to see the team dancing rather powerfully. It gives him goosebumps.

"Who is this?" He questions, unable to see their faces from his current position.

"Jung Yunho's team. They call themselves Ateez."

Haknyeon's face scrunches up. "I'm not a fan of that name."

"You don't get a say at their name." Changmin pokes him in the shoulder, "We don't even have one."

"I thought my suggestion was great!" Haknyeon defends himself but everybody stops him.

"We aren't calling ourselves JH squared." Juyeon groans. Hyunjoon shudders at the thought of it.

"Why not?"

"It doesn't make sense!" Changmin hits him where he had previously poked him. "Now come up with a better team name or hush."

Hyunjoon and Juyeon share a look. Who the hell says "hush" nowadays? 

Ateez finishes up their performance strongly. Hyunjoon's stomach drops. They're on next.

Their predecessors come off the stage and walk past them. The tallest member wishes them luck with a genuine smile on his face. Hyunjoon recognizes him from his videos. Jung Yunho. His 4 teammates follow him off.

He begins to feel guilty about thinking lowly of them. They were great, and seem like they could be really cool to hang out with.

Shake it out, Hyunjoon. Shake it out.

Focus. 

His team gets in line and walks on stage together. They stop, turn their backs to the crowd and pause. Hyunjoon takes a deep breath.

The music starts, and he lets everything go.

-

The music starts, and everything goes absolutely crazy.

Chanhee hollers from his seat in the crowd. His friends surround him and shout as well. It seems as though they're the biggest support for any of the competitors, because some people turn to look at them as the group of eight cheers for their friends. Chanhee ignores it as he watches Changmin move across the stage.

He's watched Changmin before, of course. He knows how he dances. He knows it so well. But every stage he puts on it's an entirely new experience. Changmin is like that. He has that magical effect.

The group moves in sync. It's mesmerizing. They way they spin and keep their unison as their feet move across the floor.

Chanhee shouts again. The heavy beat carries them forward and they continue to tear up the stage. 

"I thought the last group was awesome! Am I biased or are they so much better?" Sunwoo shouts over the music. Chanhee nods. They're incredible.

He looks down his line of friends that are on either side of him. He spots Younghoon. He's glad Sunwoo invited him. There's a smile plastered on his face and he's cheering. Beside him is Sangyeon. There is a visible space between them, and Sangyeon is distracted by it. He keeps looking to his left, at Younghoon.

Chanhee sighs. Those two need to work it out. Preferably before it begins to effect the rest of the group's dynamic (though it definitely already has). He focuses his attention back on the dance. Haknyeon has moved to the center and is putting his all in. Sunwoo is cheering the loudest out of anyone in the crowd. He's shaking a homemade sign with Haknyeon's name on it. Chanhee laughs. Of course he would make something like that. 

The crowd shouts and Chanhee looks back at the stage. Changmin moves to the center for a short solo moment and Chanhee screams. He's smiling wider than ever. He's always so proud of Changmin when he sees him dance, but as every stage is more impressive, Chanhee is more and more proud. 

This solo is the hardest he's ever danced. It's evident, and it's breathtaking.

Chanhee takes in the rest of the performance, and when the team strikes they're ending pose their group goes wild. The whole crowd goes wild. Chanhee screams louder when Changmin breaks his position to smile and look at his team. A tear threatens to fall but Chanhee holds it back. He isn't a pussy.

They walk off stage but the crowd keeps cheering. Chanhee tries to catch his breath.

He turns to his friends, who are clapping eccentrically. "They had to have won, right?" He asks.

"If they don't I'm throwing ALL of my hands!" Jaehyun replies, beginning to punch the air. They laugh, but Chanhee can feel the worry setting in. He knows how the team must have and is still feeling right now.

The top 4 teams are brought back on stage. Luckily, his friends return and stand tightly together. Hyunjoon is wringing his fingers together. One of his many nervous habits. Chanhee turns his gaze to Changmin, who is standing coolly to the side of his time. He asked him, one time, why he never stood in the front. He's their leader, so why doesn't he?

"I don't want to take all the attention because I'm all the crowd can see." He answered, "I want my whole team to receive praise."

Chanhee can't help but grin when he recalls that.

"Fourth place," The voice booms throughout the theater, "Astro." The group receives their award and walks back, visibly disappointed. Their leader tries to hype them back up. 

"Third place, Ateez."

He meets eyes with Sunwoo and Youngjae. Ateez, in third?

The team receives their award as if they've humbly won. Chanhee claps for them for keeping up their spirits. They worked hard. 

"First place," The announcer says, leaving a pause for dramatic effect. Chanhee can feel his heart thumping against his chest. It's between his friends and another team. He remembers their performance because it was so impressive. Clean and sharp, but elegant as well. What was their name?

Chanhee forgets the thought when "Team Changmin." Echoes through the theater. He jumps on his nearest friend with the loudest scream he's every produced. Youngjae catches him before he falls, but is cheering just as loud. He can barely watch Changmin tell Haknyeon to go receive their award. They're hugging each other tight, and Chanhee could almost cry.

They leave the stage and Chanhee follows his friends as they run out to the lobby to wait for the team to appear. He leaves them in the lobby to go to Youngjae's car where he has a bouquet of flowers and a plush doll of a sheep he bought yesterday. He sprints outside with Youngjae's keys, unlocks the car (his old car, that has to be unlocked with the key in the driver's side door) and grabs his gifts for his boyfriend.

Locking the door with one arm full of stuff is an adventure, but he gets it closed and rushes back into the lobby of the performing arts center. His friends are crowding around a group and he can see Changmin with the widest grin on his face. When he spots Chanhee, it somehow gets bigger. He pushes through everyone to reach him and practically jumps in his arms. Chanhee, the dumbass he is, drops the gifts to hug his boyfriend.

"Holy shit, you guys were incredible." He says breathlessly, embracing him harder. "You deserved that win so much."

"That-" Changmin chuckles, "That's the first time we've ever won." He shoves his face deeper into Chanhee shoulder. He can feel his shirt getting wet. But he couldn't care less. 

"And you deserved it."

When they finally pull away, Chanhee grabs the gifts from the floor. "Uh," He gives a sheepish grin as he hands them over to his boyfriend, who is still crying. "I'm sorry I dropped them."

Changmin uses his spare hand to grab Chanhee by the back of his neck and kiss him.

Their friends cheer them on as they refuse to let go of each other. PDA is not their thing, but tonight neither of them give a shit. 

"Thank you," Changmin says after Sangyeon and Joonyoung separate them because it's "gross" and "fucking extra". "Thank you so much."

"I love you."

Just as Chanhee says it, Changmin breaks for the trash can near the front door. Chanhee doesn't understand what is going on until Changmin vomits aggressively. 

"Ooooh, baby noooo." Chanhee runs over and takes the things out of his arms, then places his hand on his back. "Anyone got water?" He calls to his friends. Younghoon tosses a water bottle to him and Chanhee waits for Changmin to finish before giving it to him. He uses his sleeve to wipe Changmin's face clean, then tells him to drink more water. 

"Don't wipe my puke on your jacket!" Changmin complains.

"Too late, bitch. I'll wash it."

Changmin claims to be feeling better, so they go back to celebrate with the group. Hyunjoon is crying into Sunwoo's shoulder, while the rest of the gang is speaking so fast Chanhee can barely understand have of it. Sangyeon tells everyone to meet at a restaurant so they can all eat together.

After they've eaten, and Sangyeon has dropped Changmin and Chanhee back at their apartment, Chanhee pulls him into a tight hug once again. They stand in their kitchen, both tired as hell (though Changmin much more than himself) and hold each other in silence.

"Was me telling you I love you really a good enough reason for you to throw up?"

Changmin laughs. "I guess so. You're disgusting." 

"Liar."

"I love you."

"I love you too." Chanhee kisses his temple, then picks him up with his arms under his ass and brings him to their bedroom. Changmin screeches as he's thrown onto the bed. He's joined a second after by Chanhee, and the pair don't hold their eyes open any longer.

Changmin falls asleep with a smile on his face, and wrapped in his boyfriend's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> hi! hmu on ig and twt  
> ig: rudehao  
> twt: rudeha_o


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